Sunday, February 28, 2010

Facebook is smart!

It helps me answer comments and keep track of stuff, offline :)

Ever since they've started their new feature where you can reply to a comment notification email and the reply will be posted to that thread, it has been one helluva ride! I can reply and be prompt (anyways, Gmail is always on in my browser) and still not succumb to the temptations of Facebook. Every one knows that once you login to Facebook you are done for, browsing myriad pictures of friends of friends, even though they are perfectly unknown to you :)

So there, I give Facebook 10 brownie points for the reply-via-email feature :)

PS: Only so soon to be refuted. A friend of mine commented on one of Rohan's photos saying he looks just his Dad and no resemblance to me. I replied and said yeah what a pity. Then another comment came which said he looks cute. I wanted to check which pictures the comments came on so I still clicked on the links after replying and lo! She had deleted the looks comment and had actually said he looks cute for the same picture (maybe she didn't want to hurt me in anyway by saying no resemblance, but I hope I have a better sense of humour especially when it comes to myself, than to be offended like that ;) ;) ). But anyways, so nett result was: her comment said he looks so cute, and my reply was yeah, what a pity!!!! Bummer!!!!!

Restaurant Review: Citrus

We went to Leela to dine last night and asked which of their restaurants had sofa/lounge seats so we could put this guy down if needed. Only Citrus, their 24 hour coffee shop did. So we went there. Anyways I've been wanting to try that place for quite sometime.

Food was so-so, but considering it was a coffee shop, I guess I shouldn't complain. I wanted to feed this guy in between and asked where the mother's room is, and surprise surprise! They didn't have one!! Wow! For a 7-star hotel, that is quite unplanned. They found an empty meeting room in their business center and to their credit, they made an effort and made accommodations for us :)

Skip it if you can and if you are hungry. We didn't try their desserts though and our next table guys had come there to exclusively have dessert so I am assuming they are good. Need to try it next time.


Somehow when a tragedy occurs, it is another piece of news till it involves someone you know.
The Carlton Towers mishap was just another piece of news. Sad. But not personal.

Next morning a colleague sent an email saying his friend was one of the 9 who died and I was feeling sad about it.

This morning I logged into Facebook after almost a week and I saw a colleague joined a Facebook community for someone who is no more. I checked and figured it was her husband :( And a quick Google search showed that it was the Carlton Towers mishap that was responsible for it. Put two and two together and I figured out that the friend my colleague was talking about was this same guy.

I felt even sadder. I knew this girl. Very nice and charming. It is one thing to be in anticipation that someone will pass (whether it be because of a long suffering ailment or some such reason). But it is another thing when you leave home together in the morning and one never comes back :( I felt so awful all morning today. Somehow I couldn't take it. Such a freak accident. Such a deep loss. I have no words.

I think we as human beings are conditioned to react to tragedy differently based on how it touches our lives. It is sad but true.

And now apparently a Tsunami is going to hit Hawai'i and to some extent the Bay Area. I hope everyone comes out fine from this [-o<

Friday, February 26, 2010


So the friendly neighborhood policemen paid us a visit today. Me and Rohan were at home and they came to give us general precautions. If you have gold, silver and excess cash, don't put them at home, put them in a locker, if you have to put them at home, then don't go locking your house. If readers remember, they were making furious rounds for the past 5-6 months. I asked them why. Did something happen?

They said no, this is our area and nearby areas have seen some robberies so we want to be extra careful and keep people on the lookout.

I was impressed. I listened to all precautions and said yes.

Now they wanted an entry in their book. I gave them my name, they said no yajamanavaru hesaru, so I had to give them Subhash's name, where he works, his number etc.

Reminded me of Usha's post :)

Random posts?

If some random posts appeared on your feeds yesterday please excuse. I was trying to clean up my drafts from before and Blogger has some really funny ways about it so I was trying to experiment.

  • If you publish a previously written draft without editing, it will not only publish it on the day the post was drafted but also won't feed into RSS.
  • If you publish a previously written draft after editing, it will publish with current date and time and will feed into RSS.
  • You can anyways over-ride publish date and time to a back-date, but it will still feed into RSS with current date and time.
  • If you publish a post and then draft no matter when you decide to re-post it, it will post with the previous posted date. 

Just some of the things I played around with ;)

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Nature's bounty!

Our Hibiscus is losing leaves, it is that time of the year when it sheds and renews itself eventually. But while on its way out it is showering flowers at us. Just check this out ;) 25 darned beauties!!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


I just discovered that Monday is off for us for Holi! Yay!! Long weekend coming up then :D :D

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Gurraanni choosthe..

There is a lot of Telugu proverbs which are devilishly sarcastic and sometimes equally funny and terribly apt.

I always think of making a compilation but I never get around to it. So I've decided that I will post proverbs as and when I remember them or use them in my day-to-day life.

One proverb I repeatedly think of these days is

Gurraanni choosthe kallu neppulochayi

It means "When I looked at the horse, my legs started aching". Basically means, when you have help (the horse), you wouldn't want to do things that you normally would do by yourself (walking).

Once Subhash is home, I keep asking him to hand out things to me like the baby's pacifier etc. Agreed that I have the baby in my hands and it is an effort to get up with him and take it myself, but when Subhash is not around I'd do it without batting an eyelid.

There, I said it. My horse :)

Bad Reporting

This is probably the nth piece I am writing about reporting in our channels.

There was a fire today close to our home on Old Airport Road in Carlton Towers (the complex that houses TGIF, IndiJoes etc). So we got an advisory from Cisco saying that we should avoid using Old Airport Road. But for folks like us who live on Old Airport Road, this is just not possible. Subhash was planning to come early  (was supposed to be a surprise) but he saw the advisory mail I forwarded and asked me to check the news channel.

Now I was seeing people being brought out, unconscious. And the voice over was saying that everyone has been evacuated. And even after 15 minutes of listening to this "every one has been evacuated" I was seeing visuals of people being brought out, people being helped to walk out, people walking out and jubiliant and so on. After 20 minutes or so I realized it was just repeated coverage (that all news channels universally so well do). What a shame! At least if you are offering fresh news and are not recycling stale news, I'd expect you to change visuals.

The highlight was this news person interviewing the COO of Manipal Hospital (to where everyone injured and suspected dead were taken). The guy on one hand kept saying we cannot disclose any numbers till we make sure, give us half an hour and the news reporter kept saying "Ok, so how many people are dead". I am like, hello, can't you understand what he is saying?

Ohh god!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Hyd trip roundup

Back from Hyd. Was a good trip where I just had to manage work and the baby since neither my mom or Subhash's mom would let me do any household work. Still Rohan was super cranky and more than made up for that extra time.

Met all of my mom's family because one of my aunts was having a homam at home. This was good since one of my uncles who hasn't met Rohan to date could meet him this way and I didn't have to travel anywhere to meet all my aunts and uncles.

So this aunty who is an old friend of Subhash's parents was at Subhash's home the other day and was exclaiming how easy it was if one were to have sons since there would be no need to help with deliveries of daughters.And this in my presence! It is really sad how many times Subhash's parents have to listen to the "Ohh but you have two sons, your life is easy" line. Although everyone knows they have absolutely no advantage for having had sons. Neither son lives with them. They manage their lives entirely on their own. They've done as much (if not more) for their daughters-in-law as anyone would do for a daughter. (My mom in fact once asked Subhash's mom to adopt her as a daughter so she could also get pampered along with me!!) When I was expecting a baby, since it was not easy for my mom to come and spend time with me as my parents and sister all work and my sister lives with them, Subhash's parents came instead. In a society where it is considered the girl's parents duty to help the daughter when she is pregnant, they took it on themselves to make sure I was not alone for a better part of the 9 months. There was someone to come home to in the evening and this in itself was a huge help. If one thinks about it the traditional way, since they have two sons there is absolutely no need to do anything of this sort. Yet they did. Yet, people all too familiar with them also say, well you have sons, your life is easy. I really wonder how.

Anyways, I'm digressing.

Rohan was super-cranky. We thought he was missing his Dad. We are back now and he has been cranky for the past 24h as well. Now we are at wits end on why this is happening. I suppose now he is missing his grandparents. Sigh! I really feel bad for him. I hope he gets better once he is settled in.

Caught up with K and VM after nearly four years!! It was good to see them. V and S had a baby boy so we went to see them on Saturday. Su and Sh also had a boy but we had just a couple of hours on Saturday so couldn't meet them :( Anyways, they'd be coming to Bangalore eventually.

I've been tagged to do an IndusLadies contest and none of the things I can think of are really fitting into their 10 things to blog about. So I am wondering what to write about. One friend already suggested something. Any more ideas?


My maid went to her town to see a match. And she is not back yet. And I am not sure if she will even come back. So I am on the look-out for a maid. Yet again.

What I hate most about changing maids? You have to train them all over again. Just when they reach aut-pilot mode and you don't have to supervise them anymore somehow they leave. And the only thing worse than doing household chores is to supervise someone doing it.

So now I am going to be super-happy if my old maid comes back. Since she was well into auto-pilot. Even if she comes late, I don't think I'd complain initially ;)

I always used to wonder why companies spend so much time and money on research to retain existing employees and keep them happy. Now that I'm an employer, I know! :)


I have been doing some hiring work for the past few weeks and in general I have noticed that no one cares for etiquette in address anymore. Even if the person you are talking to is someone who is a prospective job-giver.

People reply extremely carelessly to emails. I think sometimes my emails are more respectful than their replies. But then I have been coached and conditioned by my ex-boss and husband on email etiquette.

Some replies are single liners. No address, no hi, no hello, direct response in one-line. I hate such emails. They reflect bad taste even if you are not writing to a prospective employer. I don't understand. Either this generation has too many jobs at their disposal so they don't really care to be nice to people or they don't care for a job itself, or they are too busy doing stuff god-knows-what to bother to write a nice reply.

Sigh! I am already feeling old.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Brand Power

Some colours and patterns get imprinted in our minds and associated with a product. One perfect example, my mom bought this assuming it was Munch (Nestle Munch)


My aunt said something funny yesterday. Context was extremely over-ambitious parents wanting to make Einsteins out of fetuses and infants.

"If people listen to Baby Einstein CDs when they are pregnant, the babies will come out looking like Einstein, with hair all grayed, frayed and fallen off, from all the stress"

Before you go beating me on how I am not providing the best for my baby, read this.

I also liked Lekhni's post on this a while back.

On that note, I always had a doubt. Is it enough if I listen with headphones or should I actually leave the laptop speakers on so that the baby can hear? If I listen with headphones, and my brain is processing the sound will it convey the same to the baby? Silly me. Stupid doubts.

Rohan has listened to Vishnu Sahasranamam through-out his fetal life and his 5 months on this earth, but only and only because his mom has been listening to it every morning for the past 13 years and it is a habit with her. And yes, I don't think it has done anything remarkable for either his intelligence or his vedantam :)

If people want to listen to this stuff purely to keep their babies entertained or to create a calm environment for themselves, it is totally cool. But to do this because babies should be geniuses is I am afraid even worse than asking a 6th standard kid to attend IIT coaching.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Determined to HACK

I got this email from one of my friends yesterday..



    How you doing? We made a trip to London (United Kingdom) unannounced some days back, Unfortunately we got mugged at gun point last night! All cash, Credit card and phone were stolen, we got messed up in another country, stranded in London, fortunately passport was back in my hotel room.  It was a bitter experience and i was hurt on my right hand, but would be fine. I am sending you this message cos i don't want anyone to panic, we want you to keep it that way for now!

Our return flight leaves in a few hours but I’m having troubles sorting out the hotel bills, wondering if you could loan me some money to sort out the hotel bills and also take a cab to the airport about ($920). I have been to the police and embassy here, but they aren't helping issues, I have limited means of getting out of here,  we canceled our cards already and made a police report, I won’t get a new card number till I get back home! So I really need your help.

You could wire whatever you can spare to my name and hotel address via Western union:

XXXXX XXXXX (my friend's name here)
10 Marylebone High Street, London
W1U 4RY,United Kingdom

Get back to me with the details, would def refund it to you once we arrive! Hopefully tomorrow

I await your prompt response.

(My friend's name)


Now I was pretty damn sure that this was hacked. I even considered alerting my friend but my only means of reaching her was to reply to the email which would be quite dumb, so I deleted the email and let it be.

Surprise of surprises, I got pinged by her in GTalk. The conversation went something like this:

XXXX: hey
 me: Hi XXXX
  Was your accound hacked?
  I got an email which looked like Spam
 me: I was going to reply but didn't know
 XXXX: I sent you the email
6:23 PM I just want to ask if you got my email
 me: ohh you are in London?
 XXXX: it sucks and scary here
  I'm stuck in London
 me: ohh too bad
 XXXX: I need your help
  I promise to reimburse you as soon as am back home tomorrow
6:25 PM are you still there?
6:26 PM me: yeah
 XXXX: did you go through my email
 me: yes
6:27 PM I am out of town
 XXXX: Can you loan me the cash?
 me: not sure if I can help :(
6:28 PM XXXX: Can you loan me the cash?
6:29 PM me: not very sure XXXX
  I am in Hyd alone with the baby
6:30 PM XXXX: you can help from there
  all what you need to do is to locate any western union close to you
6:33 PM are you there?
6:35 PM hello
    16 minutes
6:51 PM me: sorry XXXX

Of course I wasn't very sure in the beginning about it being some hack (I even checked the detailed network headers to see origin and make sure it was UK, but all Google would give me is its own IP) yet somehow I knew it was. Just the way emails are written. The clincher was this person trying to explain how to wire the money from here. My friend would credit me with that much intelligence I hoped ;) I wanted to have some fun with this hacker and do some Q&A saying I was not convinced it was her and she should answer some questions of mine so I can be sure it was her. But the baby got awfully cranky last evening and I was deprived of one such chance.

This morning my fiend sent an email saying her account was hacked. I suppose someone alerted her. I was going to reply saying I'm happy she came to know so soon, but kept back. What if it was the hacker trying to sound more genuine? ;)

Deep Dive

I came across a deep dive document today that supposedly I had authored. And I was quite shocked because I didn't remember doing a technical deep dive at all for that topic. So I went into the revision history only to find that it was a program deep dive that I had done since it was my technical domain ;)

Engineers' engineering thoughts die hard, eh?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Meru cabs vs EZ Cabs

I must say I was always an EZCabs person. Their cars were good. Their number easier (43434343) and in general whenever I call the response was always prompt.

Meru on the other hand would place me on hold forever. Number was a little too easy to confuse. (44224422)

But in the past 15 days I've done a U-turn. EZCabs ditched me 3 times in a row and they give up on you in the last minute. Half an hour before your booked time, they call and say that they cannot send a cab and no one takes a reservation within half an hour.

So I shifted gears to Meru and they haven't disappointed. Their call centre has improved by leaps and bounds and service is prompt. Another useful thing is that all their cabs to the airport are now hatchback. Although I dislike hatchbacks normally, they are good to carry luggage especially when traveling with an infant (his pram etc)

So all in all, EZCabs is surely on the decline and Meru is ruling the roost, both in Hyd and Blr from the looks of it.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Technical query

Does anyone know why Blogger doesn't feed out private blogs? I mean if I have granted access to someone and they are using their Gmail ID and want to feed my private blog into Reader or something, blogger doesn't allow it. I'd think at least with Google reader and Blogger both being Google products, it should have feed capability so long as I am using my Google account. But I've tried different feeders and no, it doesn't work.

Anyone knows how to work around this?

Sunday, February 07, 2010

I can confirm a Tolly/Kolly rumour

I was waiting in the ladies line at the security in BIAL yesterday on our way to Hyd. I saw this female who looked very much like Nayantara, but not quite all her though. And she was extremely thin to boot. So I kept looking at her and wondered what a striking resemblance it was. How two people can be so alike etc.

Since I was with a baby they let me in first and cleared the stroller etc. I was collecting everything at the other end when I saw Prabhu Deva. Subhash had not yet come so I had to wait for a few minutes. Prabhu Deva was looking good. I was thinking to myself, "If I go and ask him whether or not he is seeing Nayantara, how would he react?" I was lost in such thoughts and humming a Gentleman tune "chikubuku chikubuku raile" when I saw this Nayantara look-alike after she finished clearing the security. She waited for her bags (meanwhile an elderly guy who was with PD till then, came and spoke to her). Then they walked off together being careful as to how closely they walk ;) I thought "Aiyaiayaiayaiiiiii". So they are "together".

But I still can't believe that was Nayantara. She was almost there but not quite all her (did I say that already?). Guys, so do you know if she has a sister or something?

Thursday, February 04, 2010

India and the US

No, not a post on international polity, sorry to disappoint :)

I have gotten a lot of remarks (sometimes with smirks) after the baby, about how I am in India and how I have things easy and why I should not complain.

Well, I beg to differ.

There are pros and cons as with everything. Only I am glad that the cons are far too little to match up to the pros.

The only con in fact is with expectations. If I was in the US, I'd have my mom or his mom come over and stay with us till their I-94 expired. Which is 6 months. And considering that I was going about my house work as usual, cooking as I would normally do till my mom came over (less than a month before I was due), I could have maximized this 6-month-I-94 benefit by asking whoever was coming for help to come in the very last week. No issues. This would have ensured I had some help at home with the baby etc till at least he was 5.5 months old :)

Now that I am in India, I am "expected" to go to my parents' place for delivery. Well, I decided not to. Mainly because they live in another town and traveling one week before I was due was a strict no-no. And I couldn't have gone anytime earlier since I didn't want to use my maternity leave before the baby actually came and I wanted to save all of it for later. Everyone said, but why are you not going. I had to explain to everyone. Well, not a big deal.

After the baby, we went to Hyd, spent a week each at my parents and his parents. And came back. AND CAME BACK!! Everyone was aghast to hear our decision to come back to Bangalore that early. Why are you going? How will you manage? Some relatives even went so far as to ask if everything was OK between me and my parents and why I came back so early. And the explanation that I gave "I want to live with my husband" was simply not understood. Even Subhash's parents said how he has to get used to it and how it will be difficult for me so I shouldn't go and so on. Subhash was like why the hell should I get used to not living with my wife and baby?! He asked his mom and his mom didn't really have an answer. His parents were under tremendous societal pressure because they "allowed" their son and daughter in law to leave with the grandson. How could they do it?!? How did they allow it? Well, if I were in the US, I could have lived with my husband all the same and no one would have batted an eyelid. Because parents going over to kids' homes for delivery is the "accepted" way for deliveries outside India.

Well, anyway, we came back and I managed. Quite well at that I can safely say now.

If I was in the US, I'd never have to manage a one-month old baby alone like this Yet, people say I have it easy.

So I will go one up on them and actually agree. But not because of what they think or the way they say it.

Now to the pros. You get help. Hired help. There is a lot if basic support system built in. I was able to manage the baby and cooking and packing off husband to work etc because I didn't have to scrub and clean and vacuum and do the dishes and so on.

Plus when my mom or his mom came home (before the delivery and afterward), they didn't have to "help" me with household chores. They didn't have to do the dishes, clean the house etc. They always had a maid who would bring them what they needed, cut vegetables, take care of washing clothes, doing the dishes etc. I ensured this and I can say happily and quite safely that they have it nice when they are here. My mom never lets me cook when she is around so except for that everything else was and is taken care of.

So that way, yes, my parents or his didn't have to come to run our house for us. They just had to come to share in our happiness and at best help with and entertain the grand-kid. In that way, I am overjoyed that I am in India. I am happy that neither my parents nor his have to slog for us at this age and even after all these years.

Anyways, so next time you simply say "Hey, but you are in India", just think about it for a few more seconds :)

PS - I've got a lot of comments citing examples of people managing even in the US. That is not the point of this post. The point is different. If I was in the US, I could have had the advantage of having help while living with my husband, and no one would have questioned it. I am saying that because I am in India, I have had to hear pretty weird things because I decided to live with my husband even if it meant managing alone. Which is why I said, the difficulty about being in India is to deal with the "Expectations" :) That is all.

Comments and replies

An Anonymous commentor asked:

Anonymous Anonymous said...
This was very helpful blog. Could you also let us know the top reasons on why you choose to go back to India? Also what has been the bigges adjustment that your family had to make after the return?
Wed Feb 03, 10:53:00 PM IST
And I said...

Blogger DivSu said...
@Anonymous - Reasons to go back were plenty -Never liked US life -Didn't want to have American citizens for kids -Ageing parents who need some amount of moral support that someone is around in case they need. -A better lifestyle And so on and so forth. Since my husband and I were pretty clear that we wanted to move back, we hardly needed to "adjust" to anything. A few months down the line we had to be constantly reminded that yeah, we were living in the US not so long ago. That being said, initial few months I was constantly falling sick (cold, cough, sneezing types) because of differing allergen levels in Bangalore, other than that once the bodies adjusted, we were on a roll.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

R2I : What to bring and what not to bring

In recent times there has been a flurry of friends who are seriously planning to move back to India. One of the most common questions I get is "What should I bring? What did you guys take with you?". Other than ones like what is the cost of living in Bangalore (which I have another post for, look in the R2I tags), how much do I need to earn to live comfortable in Bangalore, where are the good schools in Bangalore etc.

Well, here is my take on what to bring back with you..

We limited the things we shipped to really very little. Rest what we could sell, we sold. The cot, the Yamaha digital keyboard, the LaZboy recliner, the TV, the home theater all this we sold. Most of my clothes, ones which I hadn't used in the past 3-4 months, I gave in charity. Kitchen entirely I gave away to friends. What we could sell we sold, rest we gave away. That is the summary.

What we got with us were limited to clothes, printer, miscellaneous kitchen items (one Farberware kadhai being something I just couldn't give up and still use to date), our Bose sound dock, smallish electronics like iPod, camera, wireless router etc. Of the bigger items that we shipped was our iRobot Roomba vacuum cleaner (which again needs a step down transformer since it doesn't work for 220V)

We didn't want to haul any major electronics like big-screen TV etc because of 1) Voltage issues and 2) Warranty issues.

We got out laptop for example and now its been having some issue. It is still in Fry's warranty period but we haven't been able to send it there. Although its just a laptop and a light tablet at that, we still haven't found anyone who can ferry it to California for us. If we had purchased something bigger I'm sure it would've been stuck with us all the same.

I wish I could have shipped at least my LaZboy and the digital keyboard but these are not exactly things that I miss today. Just nice-to-haves. I would also have liked to get some Corelle stuff because it is a lot more expensive here. Again, I don't miss it, just nice-to-have. I highly doubt I'd find much use for it, it would be more ornate than essential.

But in general you get everything here (including LaZboys), only they are slightly more expensive. So it will always be a case of shipping cost vs. selling + buying fresh here. I would say if you get a good price, sell it if you don't need it in the immediate future and you can always buy it back slowly out here. But if you are anyways shipping, makes sense to ship as much as you can. Only be careful with electronics that will need transformers to work here (non110/220V universal ones) and ones where there is a chance they will break during shipment. Rest of the stuff you can safely ship :)

This is all I could think of, if any of you has specific questions, please leave a comment, I will answer to the best of my ability. I am sure I have missed a lot of things :)

Man or woman?

WARNING: This is a rather feminist post. Very rare coming from me.

I see so many cases where after a baby the woman stops work to raise the kids while the man continues his work, unfettered.

What am I talking about so many cases. Isn't this always the case? With a few, a very few exceptions maybe. Right, lets move on.

While this is quite ordinary as an occurrence, what are the reasons for it? The woman is a better care-giver? Or because the woman is "expected" to do it. I think that the "woman is a better care-giver" opinion is bust in our times. Once the baby is off of breast-milk, I think either of the parents can be as good a care-giver. Period.

I am not opposed to women quitting. If between me and Subhash, one of us had to quit, I'd gladly do it. Not because my career is not important. I worked equally hard for it. I went through a good deal of rough patches and there were times when I was willing to do just any job so long as it paid me and sustained me financially. So yes. I love my job and it will be hard for me to quit it. But I will, if it has to be the job or the baby. Simply because in my mind I will never be comfortable if I work and Subhash quits. That is all.

But I see husbands "asking" wives to quit. Because they are being the "good parent" by not wanting to put the baby in day-care. And because the mom will be a better care-giver. Why? You are not willing to put the baby in daycare AND are not willing to quit doesn't mean you label your wife as a better care-giver and make her quit.

Now, I have also seen some more practical reasons. Like the wife doesn't earn as much as the husband. And in cases where the wife can quit without altering the lifestyle of the household tremendously whereas the husband cannot quit, without significant cuts having to be made in terms of what you buy, where you live etc, of course it makes better sense for the wife to quit. I would have no issues with that. To be overly feminist and make the husband who is earning 20L quit when you are earning just 5L would be stupid. And the kind of pseudo-feminism that I so hate.

So when the reasoning is right and practical and it is psychologically comfortable for the woman, I think its fine if she has/wants to quit her job. But I don't think that it is quite right if the woman quits (although she doesn't want to) because her husband thinks she is a better care-giver. And no other visible practical reason.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Dr Kini - really depends on if he is right for you..

Prelogue - This post has been almost 3 months in the making. Thinking about the exact facts and things to say.

Well, read on if you are looking for a good OB/GYN (gynecologist) in Bangalore.

We were referred to Dr. Prakash Kini by Sm (who was referred to by Sa) and both had come back and told us he was one of the best Ob/Gyn around. Very old-fashioned, doesn't worry you too much, doesn't push for a C-Sec just because its easier (and more profitable) and so on.

When we began we were completely clueless (not that when it ended we had better ideas, but still) and so we just went with the flow and called Cradle for an appointment.

When we went to him first, we were not even sure if I was, in fact, pregnant. We asked him if he can ascertain and he said that if the home pregnancy test showed even a slight bar then that was it. And gave us a probable due date. I was shocked. No blood tests? No confirmation? Please, something to put me out of my nervousness of knowing and not knowing. He said no. He prescribed the Folic Acid and the multivitamin and decided the due date and asked us to come back for the Nuchal scan at 11 weeks.

I went home even more perplexed than before. I went to Cradle hoping to ascertain whether or not we were expecting and came back with a due date in hand. Of course till we went for the scan I didn't quite believe it, but that is a separate matter.

So this pretty much sums up my experience. With Dr. Kini you get a highly technical, no-nonsense, no-silly-talk, no chit-chat, extremely knowledgeable doctor. Who minds his business and minds it well.

But does that mean he is right for you?

The answer is, like all things in life, it depends (god! I am using this way too often.)

You can be a to-be parent looking for some assurances, some smiles, some chit chat etc. Or you can be a to-be parent content to know that everything is normal and get on with life.

If you are the former, he is a strict no-no for you. If you are the latter or in that range, he is perfect.

He checks all the vital stuff every visit, tells you if you are normal or not. If you are normal, he will encourage you to be more so, and go about your routine. The only thing he ever recommended to us was to eat vegetables and fruit. I remember every visit he used to say no smoking but you can have a glass of wine every now and then and I used to tell him every time that I am a teetotaler, and that I don't drink at all. Then he will ask you if you have any more questions. Quickly answer them and send you on your way. We used to travel 45 minutes (one way), wait for about 15 minutes for our turn, sit in the coffee shop (Barista) after the consultation for about 30 minutes. All for the 2 minutes with the doc!!

For me he worked really well because I fall in the latter extreme. I sometimes even used to suddenly realize I was pregnant.

So much so that even a doctor like Kini used to ask us every time if we had questions and he would be the more surprised that we have none, And I used to be really guilty of not having any questions and would frantically try to make up some questions on our long 45 min journey to Cradle once every three weeks :)

All in all, except for the fact that I was supremely disappointed at having to have a C-Sec after a perfectly normal pregnancy, I don't think I regret anything. And the C-Sec I guess he could little help. He did wait for a week for Rohan to come out on his own. And I was too low on the Bishop's score to be induced apparently so I guess he couldn't have done anymore than that. The son was simply reluctant to leave mommy and come out.

Post partum too he was really matter of fact. Made me climb four floors about 4 hours after the C-Sec saying I have to do it if I have to heal properly without pain killers. It did me a world of good as I realized well within a month. All that walking I did. I took a max of 6 low dose pain killers over that month, that too for only 3 or 4 days here and there when Rohan was extremely cranky and my pain particularly severe.

Also, any questions you have you can call him on his mobile, he will answer but he will keep it short (I don't think he can do it any other way when he is seeing 30 patients every day and all of them have his mobile number). I once had high fever and called him and he said just take Crocin three times, three days and you will be fine. Its normal common sense advice but it was very re-assuring as most often his advice is. One other time I was doubtful since my stitches were paining (within 15 days of C-Sec) and I called him and he said its normal. (Now I know better but then I was that ignorant yeah, I was expecting it to heal within a week ;) )

A nice example to sum it up would be that we went to him the other day to just make sure stitches were alright since I was having some slight-ish soreness when I cough etc. He checked everything and said I am good. Subhash asked when we can expect the thing to completely heal and he said you just need to get over it :) And he never once as much as smiled at the baby and did baby talk with him (after all he brought him into this world, we expect some bonding there). His only concern was his patient, the mother.

Now if I am a person who thinks its important for him to talk to my baby (emotional type), I'd probably not like him at all, but if I'm the type of person who couldn't care less, so long as he gives me a good technical run, he is great.

So there.

Thank you doc!