The quiet child..

Filed under "Life learns from work and work learns from life"

Recently when trying to explain to one of the execs on how we are not doing so well on recognizing folks who keep the playing field green (no escalations, no defects etc), I explained that it is like when you have many kids and some of them are naturally more naughty than the others. If two of them are howling their heads off and another one is quietly playing, my energies are all engaged in trying to quieten the howlers and I would probably not pay any attention at all to the quiet child (forget about thinking of rewarding in that moment!).

But then we need to. Eventually the quiet child will see that there is no reward for having been "good" and this can only lead to disastrous results.

So not to blame the management or anything, this is natural human impulse. But a good leader moves beyond and consciously does things differently.

Then I thought, do I reward my own kids in accordance with that? My older one tends to be naturally obedient and quiet while the younger one is quite a handful. But I am learning to consciously reward the older one (and visibly in front of his younger brother) for his good behavior in the same situation so that both ends are met!

Win-win, eh?

If I am ever able to master it, sure! I am still learning here though.. ;)

Conversations

Me and son yesterday - when the house-help dodn't turn up and I was mopping the house

Son : Amma, I want to do.
Me: No, you cannot.
Son: But I like to do it
Me: Anyway when you grow up and you go away for studying and then get married etc, you have to do all these, why do them from now?
Son: But I want to learn from now
Me: It's too early baby
Son: But if I dont learn from now, how will I do it when I grow up.
Me: When you are a little older, I will ask you to do it myself, not now.
....

And so he nagged and I refused and he nagged and I refused and I finally gave in and he mopped his grandmother's study. It was such a proud moment!

Logging back in :)

Today I went to work after five months!! It was weird, and good at the same time.

A big thanks to my mom, she has once again stood by us as a pillar of strength, and without her around, I would not have been able to do it, the younger one is yet to get into the daycare;) Thanks to her assurance I am also now considering delaying his admission into the daycare till he is at least a year old.

The five months came and went, and here we are already! This maternity leave was vastly different from last time. For starters it was much longer, 5 months vs 3 months. Plus because my mom and father in law were around, I was actually able to catch at least one hour of sleep during the day most of the days unlike last time when I was alone with the baby and also inexperienced to boot, so never caught a wink during the day. Caught up on a lot of Bollywood movies too and in general relaxed much more than last time! Plus did many usual chores like picking up Rohan from the daycare in campus every evening, working out from week one and so on and so forth. The highlight though has to be that I actually managed to complete critical work items like budgeting, ordering, appraisals for the team etc by myself :D!

I met with my team today and also boss and his boss. I think the team was happy to see me back - or so I hope at least ;) Met up briefly with lunch gang too.

All in all, good to be back, albeit for a few hours :)

Dominos art by Rohan

In an amazingly creative way, Rohan has figured a way to use Dominos as building blocks. It is something I am really proud of! So I will make an exception and post pictures :)

He has definitely taken after his Dad in the creativity department :D

 Tower

 One more tower

 A house with street lights included ;)

 The great wall of China? :)

Close up of the great wall.

One month!

The younger one turns one month today! Its a milestone I was eagerly awaiting on 18th April - just to be done with the whole thing and settle into some semblance of a routine, and here it already is!! Time flies, truly!!

Cannot think of how we could have managed without my mom and father in law. Truly thankful for their help. Every day I spend at least a few minutes, in at least 10 situations trying to imagine, what I would have to do if I was alone with both kids at home. And it is material which nightmares are made of. For this, I have to thank them and my Dad too, for although he is absent, he is contributing in his own way, managing alone at home in Hyd while my mom attends to our needs here.

This month also saw my sister moving to Bangalore. I am really hoping it will be a long term move and the cousins will grow up together just like we did with our cousins way back in time.
 

Behind the wheel!

Today I drove to work - exactly one week from the date of the C-section. I was thrilled to be able to do it.

We visited the doc for post-op follow-up last evening - and fully knowing what he was going to say - asked him if I could drive. He said you do whatever you please, no restrictions from my end. So off today I went with my mom, father in law and the new baby in tow - to work - to pick up Rohan from the child care center. I met a few friends from work in the parking lot hurriedly, (I wish I could have done it a little more leisurely :( )before going off to pick him up. The younger one was just waking up so I was anxious to get back soon, I asked them to hurry up with Rohan and send him out fast. He has to be brought out in the middle of his snack session (those that know him, know he and food do NOT mix at all) On hind-sight, I should have lounged in the parking lot for some more time, fed the baby and then gone up leisurely so that Rohan could also have finished his snack, I could have gone a little less fidgety and could have spent a little more time with friends. Well, you learn everyday :)

This works out well, without the headache of having to hire a driver. But the flip side is the new born is too young and taking him everyday is strenuous for him and leaving him at home is risky since his schedule is not yet set and my mom will be utterly helpless if he starts feeling hungry and crying for me while I am gone. And with Bangalore traffic, there is zero predictability on when you can get back given you are out once.

Some neighbors dropped in just when we got back from the trip to see the new baby. Both kids had gone to sleep in the car, and I had just finished ferrying them one after the other into the bedroom when the younger one started crying and I started to feed him. So I asked them to come in and sit with me, rather than make them wait. While discussing how we just got back, they referred a driver agency which is apparently very good. So I took the number and called the lady up and she has promised to send a person on Monday. If he turns out OK, that will be a good daily-basis arrangement, till the younger one has a settled routine, can hold his milk a little longer and I can venture out a little more confidently leaving him at home.

But the bottom-line, it was amazing to be back behind the wheel already and driving to campus. Felt a sense of freedom which completely eluded me in the surgery's depression last time around. This time, whether I call it experience or a determination to not let myself get depressed like last time, I have managed to not only stay happy for the past one week, but also surprisingly more agile and less handicapped :) Well, all is good so far. I have to thank my mom and father in law without whom I could not have done this at all. A hundred thanks to them!!

Happy one week birthday to the son!!

It's a boy!

So we had a baby boy on April 19 :) All went well, and we cannot be thankful enough for that.

Although it is not very "relate"able, we believe it is my mother in law's soul come back - if it was a baby girl, that would have been more "obvious" :) And we now have two boys, the first shares his birth date with his Dad and the second shares his birth month with his Mom :) Also, both are now "Navami" boys, the older one was born during the Navratris on Maha Navami and the younger one was born on Ram Navami :)

I don't know what made me go through another C-section willingly, but I am glad the worst part of the experience is over and behind us. Now the recovery process only gets better with time. But yes, I hate the epidural and the surgery - hate it! This time around though, the pain is not as worse as it was last time partly because, to accommodate the demands of two kids, I decided to continue the pain-killer unlike last time where I was off it by day 2.

Two kids is a new experience. People say effort grows exponentially, but I am hoping it won't make us mad :) It is a little funny now - suddenly the older one looks "really old".

The son (older one) has taken it well so far. This experience brought two firsts for me and him - we spent the first night away from each other in his 3.5 year life-time - he at home and me in the hospital. It was something I was wondering about all along - how we would deal with it. I was too zonked out to deal with it I guess, and he took it well too, although both days before going home he insisted for a long time that we should all go together. So that is how it was, the first experience of being away from each other- ever. Second one, was today, when he went to the child care center in my office by himself with his Dad. He has never ever gone without me dropping him off - and he has been going there for ~2.5 years! I was feeling a little odd - he was saying, I should also come since last night itself, but when the time came, he said "bye amma, bye thammu (younger bro)", got into the car and left. He has always been and continues to be an amazingly well-behaved infant, toddler and kid, and now older brother :) Sometimes he says "Amma, I want to be with you" and I hate to tell him, it will just be a little longer before the stitches completely heal and we can rough it out like before.

I got my wish of having two boys :) I now get to enjoy my status as only woman in the house till the sons get married and I have daughters-in-law! :) Everyone said I was crazy, hoping for the second one to be a boy, too many boys in the house etc. maybe soon, they will drive me crazy too ;) But I am happy :)

As always, glad to have mom, dad and father-in-law around. It is help we so often tend to take for granted, but the thought of just me and Subhash going through the last three days, is enough to make me realize, how much their help needs to be valued. Who is cooking, who is shopping for groceries, who is managing the logistics around the house, it is all one blur. Because they all chip in and help and help amazingly well with a complete non-complaining attitude. This is probably why families were made. I hope to be an equally good support system for them too :)

And oh yes, we just got news that my sisters' move to Bangalore is confirmed :) So, the cousin joins the merry gang of boys!!! Yay!!

Signing off

Today was the last day at work for the next five months! I was glad to have been able to go till the very end. Last time around, I was at home for a week before the baby came (more because he decided not to come out at all) and was very nervous and jittery because of the delay, not knowing what will come, and finally when the C-section was decided, worrying about the huge impending surgery.

This time, in complete contrast, the date was decided a week ahead of time, I went to work even today, drove myself (and the son along) till the end, and in general kept my mind on things that are day-to-day and routine. More than anything, want to be done with the whole saga, so looking forward to tomorrow and more than that to a month later when things would have somewhat recovered to normal, and settled into routine.

Mom, Dad, Father-in-law are all here. Glad to have everyone around.

More when there is later updates!

Made or ruined

Yesterday at the last round of my morning walk - the son woke up and came out looking for me. I waved to him and kept walking. He apparently wanted to join me so my Dad got him out to the street - beyond the music in my ears I did hear some voice calling out. I looked back and checked and he was running to me. I was at the farther end of the street, just about to make the turn and I walked back towards him and he kept running all the way till he reached me with his arms out-stretched. It made my day and the next few days as well. I ended up finishing the last two rounds carrying him, my Dad walked behind us for sometime asking him to come, but he would refuse, so I carried him back home once we were done. He held my phone for the music - I asked him to hold it while I carried him and he dutifully did it all the while talking about going "20 rounds, 10 rounds" - round meaning he being carried around by me!

I was then at an all day event in a business hotel near work. The event was until 8 or so, but I left early so I could pick the son up at his usual time. I arrived 20 minutes earlier so we got some extra time to roll around after we got home. Priceless.

Normally, I am the type of person who cringes if any routine is slightly upset. But somehow when the son is involved it doesn't seem to matter. I've done things I would not have imagined a few years ago - just so I can be with the son, without him perceiving my absence for too long outside of his routine. So long as I can pick him up by 4.45, I allow myself to do anything ;). I have sat down in the middle of work-outs when he wakes up early, doing them much later once he is over the initial clingy phase when I hand him over to Subhash and carry on. If someone who knew me closely 6-7 years ago, saw this, they would be near shocked I guess.

They say being a parent changes you - for me it is the responsibility of this young thing's happiness and how much of it lies in my sole control, that makes me do things I would otherwise have never dreamt of! And I don't think it is limited to the son (so not necessarily about parenting) - it also applies equally to Subhash, to my parents and my father-in-law and in lessening degrees to my extended family.

Too sentimental - but all of these reflections came last evening when I was thinking about how life has been moving in general ;)

Three years!

The son turns three. I think that is a big milestone in the early years. Of the three years, this is the second best year (the very first year beating it purely because of how many milestones it crammed into it and how completely sickness-free it was ;) )

He has gone from a barely speaking toddler to a non-stop talkative young boy! Sometimes I find it hard to imagine that there was a time when he did not know how to talk! :) Every day he surprises, entertains, delights and enlightens with something new to say.

Last year, I had just one prayer for the coming year and all years on. Little to no sickness. And for that reason this year has been one of great reliefs. Except for a serious bout of sickness when my mother in law was last hospitalized, when he had to be on antibiotics, kept throwing up everything we fed him and what not, he has not had any major incident. On and off, one or two days here and there, fevers, runny noses have been there, but I can count them on one hand. Touch wood. I hope it continues on this way.

His eating habits continue to be a concern. He seems to hate chewing at all. Even when he does manage to chew something, he gets bored mid-way and either spits it out or gulps it as is. Because of which his food still has to be mashed and given. And at the right ambient temperature. One good thing about it is that he does not eat any junk food at all. No chips, fries, ice creams or anything outside food at all. Even if we visit somewhere or go for dinner, his meals are always freshly packed home made ones. We have to coax him to have ice cream and that too after one spoon he won't touch it again because it is cold ;) Feeding him is still a big ritual, but I do manage to give him small meals every two hours.

He lost one of his grandparents last year and for that, this year will be always remembered. This is his first birthday without a full four:(

I am often amazed at how empathizing and understanding the guy is. (I also saw his teachers write the same comments about him in his school record, but I guess they write nice things about everyone). He is amazingly caring, shows an immense grasp of situations which is more often than not, very adult-like. Just yesterday, I told him to watch over his baby-cousin while all of us had our dinner since the infant was sleeping on the couch and my sister had to finish dinner before he woke up. The guy dutifully watched 2 minutes of his Mickey show and threw a glance at his cousin, and went back to watching his show and then again threw a glance at his brother! Amazing. One other time when he made me particularly proud was when my brother-in-law's family was visiting - I was particularly apprehensive to keep the house quiet for them through the day since the younger cousins had come from afar and were jet-lagged. My mother in law was also at home for a brief spell at that time and so it was all the more critical. I used to tell him to stay quiet so others can rest and he actually, regardless of how sick he was feeling or how frustrated his weakness made him, would always comply.

That way he is a very complying kid as well. He understands why you are asking him to not do something and he stays away from it. Don't like to call it obedience, but for the lack of a better word, I tell him he is a very obedient kid ;) The other day he cried while I dropped him off at the daycare after almost a year!! I told him how, if he cries when going to school, Amma becomes sad and Amma also cries and calls the teacher again and again to make sure that he is OK. I told him, if he goes to school without crying, Amma is very happy (Normally he goes very quietly, stopping all the way about 4-5 times, to turn back and wave. And I wave very enthusiastically back with a beaming face). So, the next day he did not cry and in the evening actually asked me "Amma happy?". I was overwhelmed:) I really hope he only improves on his already excellent temperament. It is so evolved already that I sometimes fear it might only go downhill from here.

Sometimes, I also wonder if he has aged too fast. He stays away from playing in dirt and in general doesn't mess around. He always tucks his toys and clothes back where they belong and is a stickler for cleanliness. If there is something on his person that doesn't belong there, like a drop of milk or a spot of food, he won't let me hear the end of it till I clean it up. I actually wanted a kid who was like me in that sense so I would not have to clean up after him/her (pure laziness) - I guess my wish was fulfilled ;)

Physical injuries, has been one big-bang injury a year so far :( The first year, he dropped a 6 KG transformer on his big toe. Second year, some kid pushed him in school and he had a big gaping gash on his chin. Third year, he ran round and round, hit himself on the couch and split open his lip, with blood strewn all over the house. All of the injuries bear visible marks (the ones on the face are very sad to look at especially :( ). I hope for this year, in addition to no sickness, he also has no big physical injuries.

How far did we come as parents? I don't know the answer to that. I am a lot more patient than I was four years ago. I shout at him much lesser, get frustrated much lesser, am able to use presence of mind to steer and divert attention rather than use confrontation more often :) (Although I forget still, instincts rule most times) So I guess they are my big achievements. I still obsess about his food though. This obsession has to be seen to be believed ;)If he has not had anything to eat for two hours, I get all jittery. I have to feed him SOMETHING. And I hate doing anything else in the middle of his meal-time routine, even attending a small phone call or answering the door-bell. It is an obsession I have been trying to get away from. But old habits die hard. It was stuck in my mind since he was an infant that as long as he has had enough to eat and enough to sleep, everything else falls in place. And so it carries on. Subhash I think was always perfect, I don't think that guy can improve much on what he already is. The best dad :)

The end of August

I was thinking about this phase last year for the past few days. My mother in law was hospitalized yet again. And today last year, for the first time we heard the docs say, she might not survive. And be prepared for the worst. And tell all near and dear ones to be prepared. And it was a black day. I remember there being a depressing quietness about the house. We were hoping things would not be as fateful as pronounced. We waited and she recovered and came back home, was around for Rohan's birthday and all that. But with this hospitalization, she had to go from two dialysis a week to three. And it sapped all her energy out. Her life to her seemed like an endless journey in and out of hospitals. And we could do nothing but feel sorry for her :( Every alternate day, going for dialysis, with her weak frame of mind and body was no joke for her. She used to say that the one day break she got in between 6 days of alternate day dialysis, she felt like it was a weekend for her. Painful.

Yesterday Rohan had a freak temperature suddenly in the middle of the day and I got that dreaded summons from the daycare. I had to pick him up from the daycare mid way like this after many months now. I almost lost touch with him falling sick. We gave him two rounds of Calpol over the day yesterday. Today I've been checking with his teacher. She said that at meal time his temperature spiked a little, but he is normal and playing again now. Hope he goes through fine with the rest of the day.

This morning was a particularly grueling one. The daycare insisted on a medical certificate, this is something new, for one half day of absence. And I had to carry him from his building to mine (the doc on campus is in my building) and back. I think this commute might be 10 minutes of walking in all. The doc lectured me about him possibly still being infectious, was offended that I was not listening to him since I was trying to multitask between listening to him and my son at the same time - I assured him that I was listening to him and that I got him since I thought he looked perfectly normal. Then I finally dropped him back, drove the car from the daycare to the parking lot and came back to my building, only to realize I'd forgotten my badge+keys in the car. This time with a smaller sized kid (AKA my laptop bag), I did the whole distance again (I park closer to his daycare). By the time I got to my office it was a good 45 mins since I first entered the campus! Phew!

A lovely lovely Saturday evening

Had an appointment for the son's haircut at 4.30 this evening. Subhash was visiting some friends so I was looking forward to an evening out with the son :)

We got ready pretty much on schedule when the water tanker showed up and we got delayed by some 20 minutes because of that. Finally we made it to Leela around 5.

I took the appointment with the usual guy and the son was the epitome of maturity:) He sat there quietly while the guy went about his job - he wanted to give the son a funky haircut - I said anything is OK so long as it is short, so he trimmed and cut and in the end also gelled his hair!

Then we went to the coffee shop there, ordered a baguette and a Tiramisu. The son actually surprised me by eating almost all of the Tiramisu till when I told him that his Dad was back home and he got up from his chair all ready to go home and meet Dad (he was missing him since morning). We paid, walked to the valet and waited for the car, got in and stopped by my tailor's on the way back and got home by 7. In general did all nice grown up stuff on our evening out.

Sometimes I wonder was this the kid that was barely fitting in my arms not so very long ago :)

I look forward to this grown up time with the son alone always - he is truly my new BFF ;)

Lots of small things

I got a comment on the last post on how I manage without any support. I got the kind before too, and I confess it makes me feel good - like I am doing something that is worth asking about ;)

I should admit though, that I used to feel bitter about it in the beginning. Having to manage a one month old infant with no one to give advice or share experience was daunting and very intimidating especially since this was my first-born. We grew up together literally - me and my son - and I learnt a lot of things the tough way and at the extreme lows I used to give in to a little self pity too. But I hate self-pity and so invariably always tried to bounce back. And what do I have for that today - a son who adores me and is a total mamma's boy. No matter who else is around, his face lights up like nothing else can when he sees me and sometimes I feel, just for that, the whole thing was worth it ;)

Then my Dad said he was trying to post a comment on this previous blog in Facebook and was not able to and just sent it to me in an email - here is an extract that is relevant to the last comment -

You have a beautiful mind and heart. Your sense of time management is excellent and worth emulating. Keep up the goodness for posterity. May God bless you

And then my father in law had sent me this sometime back

 I am proud & happy to say that you are a gem of a woman in the present society. Managing the office, home, kid etc quite comfortably and happily. Your planning is perfect. Facing all the challenges bravely and coming out successfully by God's grace from time to time. Keep it up. Hats off to you.

So there, I indulged in a little show-off and back-patting ;) I haven't really taken permission from both Dads before posting this - but I am sure they won't mind :)

So I guess apparently I am good at managing time and maybe that is the answer to how I've been through the last three years. I confess I don't think I work very hard but everyone around me - the husband, dad, father in law, mother in law (when she was around), mom and recently even my sister - keeps saying it and it does leave me puzzled. Maybe it is a case of not feeling the pinch if you enjoy what you do? I don't know ;) I love managing my house, I love my job and I have this "I want to do everything" zest and ohh, I also love my work-outs ;)

Yesterday my mother-in-law's monthly ceremony went well - and I realized one thing - the only direct mother-in-law -- daughter-in-law relationship I will ever be in again is when I have my own daughter-in-law! I confess I felt a little nervous on how I would be then - of course that is donkey's years away and all that. But still, I hope I manage well :)

The cooks

Yesterday my co-sister and I were talking on the phone and the son was asking me in the background if he can have some Rajma, Chana, green dal etc so he can make some Paneer curry and I was explaining to her how he pretend-cooks with me. She was saying her son also loves to cook, and always follows her around when she is in the kitchen - ditto with my one. So we concluded it is in the genes ;) Subhash's mom always used to say how Subhash used to follow her around in the kitchen. Indeed I owe all the fine-tuning in my cooking to him!!

Stitches?

The son ran round and round in circles and in an increased state of excitement - lost control of where he was running and rammed real hard into the sofa :( He has a small sized well on his upper lip and the blood dripped on and on in the evening yesterday - I have never seen so much blood - poor baby. He bore it very well as usual - let the doctors examine him (the ped near the house first and then the one in C9) and in general kept up his spirits throughout - which was the only thing that kept my heart from breaking :(

Today we are taking him to his regular ped in Jayanagar - his opinion is always like the final verdict for me - till he sees him - and recommends the next steps - I won't have any peace.

He might need a minor surgery to close the well on his lip - please keep him in your prayers.

UPDATE: Doc said that the wound was healing well so we should not do anything now. We were more than happy to not do anything now. He said if the scar is bad after it heals we can always fix it later with a minor procedure. We came back home a lot lighter!!

Hectic week

Right after we were back from Chikmaglur, we traveled to Hyd for my sister's baby shower. It was the son's first time in the train. We had booked Rajdhani, but my, what a horrible train, old and shoddy. I would have much preferred the Kacheguda express if only it ran a little later in the night! Phew! But the son thoroughly enjoyed the train and the auto ride that led to it. He was a darling and didn't fuss at all. But neither he, nor I, got any sleep, thanks to the berth being too narrow for both of us.

Sister's shower went off very well. Her in laws took care of every detail so painstakingly, it was heartening to see she was in such good hands. We took the usual sweets, fruits etc and I was glad I was able to be with her on that day. One moment our eyes met in the middle of all the ceremonies and tears swelled in my eyes. I don't know when we grew so old! She is going to have a kid! We were just kids hanging out at home and chilling not so very long ago! The son, as usual, gave up on food and sleep and got very cranky by the evening and I felt so sorry for him. Today we got back and were so fatigued from the journey that we took off, son included. Hopefully routine will set back in soon.

Subhash was his usual very nice self and took care of all the shopping, clothes, sweets etc. Boy, am I glad I have him for a spouse :) He takes on initiative when he doesn't really have to and never complains. Couldn't get any better! I hope I can do him a good turn in return. I think in our marriage, I am quite happy that he has never had to choose between being a good son, a good father, a good brother and a good husband. In whatever little ways I could, I enabled him to be all of them at the same time. And he has done the same for me too! I never have to choose between being a good daughter, a good mom, a good wife and a good sister! Hopefully we will continue doing the same for many more years to come :)

Sickness

Less than a week after his second birthday where I was wishing this year should have less sickness, I got that dreaded call from the daycare. He had discharge from his eyes, they suspected conjunctivitis and they wanted me to take him home. He did have a lot of discharge in the morning when he woke up but I didn't suspect anything serious. So I went, dropped him and picked him back and came home, all within an hour :( We took him to the pediatrician in our colony and she gave him some drops.

Sickness comes in all varieties I should say, but every time there is something, I feel like I have lost a lot of my own energy :(

A comment to share -

I got this comment on my previous post :

Anonymous said...

wow nice my daughter is 1.5 .How and when should I start letters and alphabet books ? does your son sit at one place and read them.When do they start speaking?

@Anonymous - If I say I didn't do anything to make him start saying his letters you probably wouldn't believe me? :) We do have some board books (for letters) which others had given him either as return gifts for parties or when visiting home. There is also a rhymes book that he has which one of my colleagues had given him. But besides these, we never bought anything as such. I think I should give most of the credit to his daycare where I believe the curriculum is really good and he has picked up a lot of stuff.

That said, I would not worry about when they will learn numbers, alphabets etc. In fact I never worried about any of his milestones. They are just babies and they have the rest of their life for the race that is inevitable, why take any pressure as parents from now itself? At least this has been my mantra and I stick by it with my life. When he didn't roll-over till he finished 5 months, I used to get questions by the day on why, how, what etc, technically I should have been very worried since kids rollover @3 months typically. But he rolled over very very late and he is perfectly fine for that. They will be. It all comes in due course of time so don't get worked up over timelines etc :) That is all I would say :) I have noticed a great difference in babies when it comes to milestones. They all take their time. Sorry for the free advice, but this is the only answer I can give I guess ;) As for when he started to talk, again, that too was very late (by most aunties' standards), maybe around 19-20 months old. Since then his curve with words and numbers has been steep. So don't worry, when they start, you can't stop them ;)


Enjoy!

2 year old mom!

Today my son turns two and I turn a two-year old mom :) When did I turn a two year old mom? Am I still not that girl of seventeen?? (which somehow my brain is always stuck at, and also which happens to be the age when I first met Subhash ;) )

It has been an eventful year. One where I have seen my son start talking, saying his alphabets, numbers, rhymes, songs etc. Also seen him fall sick (yeah, first one year he never knew sickness at all!), thanks to the daycare and other things. I once had a really scary moment when I was alone with him in the house and Subhash was in the UK. I fed him at 1.30 AM that night in the hope that he wouldn't throw up and absorb that energy to survive the night (he was repeatedly throwing up anything I gave him and also had diarrhea). Somehow when I think of this past year, that moment is poignant. It feels like the moment I grabbed my son from the mouth of sickness and brought him back :)

He started going to daycare and has been a remarkably fuss-free child. He did cry a few weeks into the routine but by and large he has adapted like magic :) He has a lot of friends and can also name all the 13 children in his class and sometimes this amazes me :) Whenever you ask him though, only the girls' names pop out unless you show him pictures of the other boys in his class. Surely he has his priorities set.

I have a lot of dreams for him and I hope I can give him the best in whatever he needs :) I also wish him a sickness-free next year and many more happy, healthy and prosperous years ahead :) I hope above all to always remain a friend and confidante to him and be able to move along with his generation so he never feels distanced from me :)

Here is 2 years of being a Dad to Subhash too. The best ever (even his son says so - Naanna best). Much better parent than I am myself I would dare-say :)

Major, major, major!

The son got pushed (at least according to his teachers and principal) at the daycare by some other kid and he fell on his chin and broke it. It was horrible. A big gash and blood all over his shirt. It was painful to watch. We took him to Manipal and when they said sutures we were not at all sure and decided to take him to his regular paed. He checked it, said sutures would leave a 1mm scar, else, alternate was to tape him up, but scar would be little bit bigger. Since the injury was under the chin (may not be very visible when he grows up) and since we didn't want to put him through anesthesia and needles etc, we asked him to tape him up.

Somewhere I felt angry. And sad. And upset, in equal portions. The doc we went to in Manipal, didn't help by telling us it was a crime to put kids less than 3.5 years in a daycare. We told him both of us work and we don't have a choice, he came back saying what are you earning for, this is a big price to pay etc. I told him, this could have happened anywhere, and he still persisted on his agenda. I just left it. I hate people who do that.

Then I was (and am) feeling angry about the daycare. I don't think they are maintaining the student:teacher ratio that they promised, and I intend to talk to them about it. This is the third time the son is falling and it gets worse every time.

But then I remember the tenants upstairs. They are a young couple and the girl had gone to her hometown to attend some wedding and in a very freak accident, she got hit by a bull and had to stay in bed for >20 days. She is still unable to get up and do her work on her own and is attended by her mom and other relatives. Whom can she blame? I am not sure.

So trying to find out which boy pushed the son and caused so much pain to him is like trying to find out which bull hit her. You basically cannot do a thing about either. So I get philosophical and lap up my own anger and pain. This is life I guess! Phew!!