Saturday, August 11, 2007

Parents (-in-law??)

Although in the women's lib era, a lot of feminists might deny it, but for a woman, a major part of what she becomes in life depends on the family she marries into. I do not want to be too country-specific and say, at least in India. I believe the same holds wherever. Only in India it matters more if you are a woman. Probably.

I for one, am really thankful that I married where I did. Somewhere a question came up about why I am proud to be a part of Subhash's family. The first thing I could think of was his parents. Sensible and broad-minded, the first impression I had of them was of being very approachable. I eventually grew to appreciate what they did/did not do on various occasions. In the three+ years that I have known them, they have never once introduced us (me or his brother's wife) to anyone as their daughter-in-law, but always referred to us as their daughters. And they never shy-away or hold-back from showing us that they are proud of us. Which I believe is a lot more important. Not everyone does that. Issues.

What I am really glad about is that they are very perceptive. Perceptive to the changing times, perceptive to the demands we need to fulfil, perceptive of the tough times we face, and perceptive to what we might be thinking/feeling in any given situation. They take the trouble to think in our shoes, and really, they don't have to. And because of this, it becomes that much more easy to talk to them about any problem, not to mention those innumerable occasions when they understand everything at the slightest hint, saving me the trouble of putting complex/difficult issues into words.

I am really glad to be what I am to them. It will go a long way in making me a better person. There is so much to learn from them, not only in parenting but also as a couple. To be able to share such a great rapport with his parents, I think its quite awesome:) I hope to be able to do as much for them as they have done for us.

It's been a terribly gauche and clumsy post for what I set out to write and imagined writing. I try to write about them, but I can't seem to find the right words, at least not worthy enough to justify what they have done for me thus far. So I will simply say: Subhash always used to say, if anything, when we got married, I would have two sets of parents, and I knew, even long before we did get married, that he was absolutely right!! Not one such set of parents-in-law have I seen in all the circle I know. So I refuse to refer to them as parents-in-law:) Never!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Back from vacation?
Great post. And I totally agree with you. All the stars have to line up to get good in laws and we should really appreciate it. They are hard to come by. :--))

Anonymous said...

Hey Div,

Just checked your blog thru Orkut. Agree with you 100%. I thank my stars daily for a wonderful husband and in-laws. Knock on wood (for both of us) and congrats:)

Take care- Priya

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