Back to India

(Disclaimer: This post is long. You cannot sue me for sore eyes or numbed brain. You have been sufficiently warned ;) )

An ever enterprising colleague sent this to us a few months ago.

http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/india/article.cfm?articleid=4236

I have been intending to take a shot at a critic to this feature since then. First I took a couple months before I could read it in full. Then I had to prepare for my CCIE so that pushed my critic-writing to another couple months. But finally here I am.

Actually, there is another thing I should mention, well a couple things, before I start. Intentionally, I haven't read this article again before posting this blog. I went over it in my mind, thrashed it out with Subhash, got some perspectives from him, put my own thoughts together with his and now have come to some conclusions which I think are not as extreme as they were earlier. He always has this moderating effect on me;) The second thing is that, whatever I express here is solely my opinion, rising out of my own experiences here in the US. Now I know that the said experience can range from one end of the spectrum to another so no offence meant if you think the exact opposite of what I do:)

Here goes my critic..

1) The author mentions, and repeatedly, that she was always in a flux about whether or not to go back because she spent those 10 glorious single years in the US which put the US on a pedestal for her. I think more often than not, its those "un"glorious first years for most of us. For me, it was those terrible first few years. Mainly because I went through a bad phase in life then. Also, there are some other categories of people who find it intolerable in the US. I have always observed that people who have had some amount of independence in India while growing up never find any great difference between there and here. (No sudden surge of independence). And ones that have lived affluently in India just can't tolerate the US because undeniably you got to do all your chores yourself and there will be no one at your beck and call to do the lowly stuff for you. I fall somewhat in the first category (not entirely).

2) The second thing she mentions repeatedly is that US is "meritocratic". Now that is one thing I completely and utterly disagree with. The US is as meritocratic or as non-meritocratic as any other country. Personally, I have seen rampant non-meritocracy in the US. I have seen talentless people getting ahead, way ahead, so long as they know how to talk their way through. I have often observed that as long as you can talk, whether or not what you say makes any sense, as long as you can make it "sound" impressive, you are through. In one sense, to be able to talk like that is a "merit". And I suppose that way, the US can be considered meritocratic. (And after that H1-B lottery fiasco from last year, a lot of my fellow citizens will agree with me that there was nothing meritocratic about it ;) )

3) In the article, the author mentions how she thought all desis in the US were "pretentious" when they took up local hobbies. I don't feel so extremely about that. You can always adopt local culture, it adds something to your own lifestyle. (Of course whatever I adopt or do, I think there is nothing wrong with it, its very natural, but I can seem pretentious to the author, and that is also fair enough:) )I carve a pumpkin for Halloween, that doesn't make me think I am traitor because I perform pujas at home for Indian festivals too. Halloween pumpkins bring something of that creativity out in me, and it enriches me that way so I do it:) As simple as that!

4) I never dress by rule, I always wear what I want, so I end up wearing jeans to the temple and salwars to work, more often than not. But then my whole dressing is fusion. So I don't go through any torture when I have to attend Desi parties. But then I have never attended "happening" parties, just ones with friends. I guess all goes in those. So I can't really be a critic on that.

As to the rest of her piece I pretty much agree with most of it. We are economic immigrants. We are not prone to hate our country so we cannot completely give in to the US culture and mingle and disappear as one in the crowd with them. We still follow our culture, believe in some parts of it at least. Hence, we always stand out and have our kids labeled ABCDs.

While on the same topic, one of colleagues mentioned this in a casual conversation and it struck me much. She said it so casually that I was surprised, because it had a very deep impression on me. She said, "What is a job, its just a way to earn money and keep yourself occupied. Leaving your home for a job is the most ridiculous thing.". And that perspective was one I never took before. Yet, I sort of agreed with it. Not completely. I know that a lot of people cannot afford to think of a job as a mere nothing. If those people didn't have opportunities in India and came here, I will not say its ridiculous, but I would call that necessity. Yet sometimes it does feel that this is all not worth it.

These days we have had discussions. Whenever the topic of moving back to India springs up, everyone has their own opinion. And I see one whole spectrum of opinions. They mostly range in the India is hot/unhygienic/polluted/cramped/corrupted range. Yet I remain unfazed. Whatever people want to debate with me, I simply say this:

US could be a great country. It could be paradise too. But it cannot be home to me and will never be able to take India's place in my psyche.