Monday, August 04, 2008

A long week

So Subhash's mom had to be taken to the hospital finally after her long and painful ordeal with the teeth. These dental procedures are always more pain that they look like. She had some complications (I don't know which doctor to blame, her dentist or her nephrologist) because of the painkillers she was prescribed for her teeth and she had to undergo that much dreaded dialysis which she has been putting off and neatly dodging for more than a year now :(

For Subhash and me that meant a forced break for a week in Hyderabad. I realize with every passing day how much I love routine. I am a boring person yes, but I need to know exactly what I will do today. I need to go to the same work place every day, I need to go to the gym at exactly the same time every day, I need to just be routine and predictable and boring to be happy. And dropping everything and leaving town is not exactly in my list of favourite things to do, least of all when someone close to me is suffering and is at the hospital.

I am not sure if I recollected this earlier on my blog, but this is exactly how it was when my Dad had his first massive heart stroke. We in Hyd. He in Bangalore. We leaving everything and rushing to Bangalore when we heard the news. This time around the places were reversed but nothing much else. I hated the bus drive to Hyd as much as I hated that bus drive to Bangalore 13 years ago. I was heart-broken on seeing his mom as much as I was heart-broken when I saw my Dad. But I knew how it would turn out somehow this time. I knew she would recover and all would be well again. But with my Dad those long years ago, there was uncertainty. They gave us 24 hours. And said anything could happen in that. And we didn't know to what news we would be arriving. Whenever I think of that night I shiver and wonder how we survived that suspense.

So today we are back, two very tired, sleep-deprived people but extremely happy because his mom is back home and much much better than when we saw her on Monday. I went with a cold which, thanks to all the hospital air and ambience worsened to fever (as if to justify the sick leave I was going to have to take) and went back to being really bad cold. And I picked up an experience or two along the way.

One, I thought I should never manage to cook in someone else's domain. I cooked successfully at his place for a week!

Two, I learnt that its very important to hold your emotions when you are visiting someone who is sick. I knew this all along, but I realized how important it is with this visit. What with overly anxious relatives gasping and displaying all their nervousness openly in front of his mom, like that was something she needed. She was already feeling upset that she was here and that we were all attending to her, she hates to be a "patient" in short. So not everyone wants "Ayyo papam". Not everyone likes attention. If its a grim enough situation, just go, say hi, stay silent and come back. If that someone is recovering and getting better, then crack jokes, laugh and try and get the person in question to also laugh along. It definitely helps them much better than giving them descriptions of how sick they are looking like you were a mirror!

Now that I am back, and I have a mountain-load of work waiting for me plus a haunting cough and cold, I am thinking of when I can take my next break ;)

Please do pass along your wishes for us. We seem to be reeling under some unhealthy times off late!


Anonymous said...

I was just wondering what kept you off for a week from blogging. Problems come and go, take one day at a time! Hope you feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

Glad to know MIL is home and doing better. You all have been through a rough time - hope it's smooth sailing now ..

DivSu said...

Thanks Anonymous and DS! I hope my days get better and better ;)

Smitha said...

hope all is well and wishing for good times :-)

Anonymous said...

Uh oh. Sorry to hear this Divs. Be assured good times are not far behind.
take care and be safe. Get well soon.

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