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Not home in Bangalore but in Hyd for the week. One of my baby cousins (well, once a baby, not anymore!) is getting married! So we got here a week ahead to increase the tempo of the festivities ;) Or so we like to think ;)

Somehow coming to Hyd is always special. The first day especially, the landing, the settling in with the kids etc, and then the surge of 21 years of memories. The familiar lanes, the familiar stations, the people, the language, the AP number plates, everything. It always makes me feel fresh as if I was just born and living the first 21 years of my life all over again. Places, faces, memories have so much power! You just need to be able to let it sink in and experience it, it is really incredible!

2012 - the year gone by

Time for the customary year end blog.

After the very sad 2011, all I hoped was for a sober, unexciting 2012. I just wanted it to be normal. As normal as possible. But it turns out, it was not such a bad year after all.

-Son fell sick very little - the first big plus.

-We were able to successfully finish all my mother-in-laws' last rites - to our satisfaction and inner peace. I hope she is happy wherever she is.

-Work-wise, we both did reasonably well :) Not a bad year at all.

-My mom and Dad stayed with us for nearly 4 months (with mom coming and going, but Dad here throughout) - their longest in 7 years - the last one being their US trip in August 2005. The son and they bonded well, and so did my Dad and father-in-law, it was a very happy time. The happiest family moments I have had for a long time.

-My sister had a kid - yay! One more cousin for Rohan!

-2012 brought a couple of new beginnings for 2013 to hold up and enliven. Thanks to these, 2013 will be a very exciting, promising, nervous and tough year in a lot of ways. I hope it goes well, and we end up celebrating all of it.

This day that year

This year, the Labor Day holiday in the US seemed to ring a vague bell in my mind. I went back and checked the calendar in 2001, it was correct! In 2001, when I started my MS course at Madison, Labor Day weekend was the same, September 3 was Labor day! Madison always started the Fall semester right after Labor Day weekend and Sept 4th was the beginning of classes. Some dates just hover in your mind I guess ;)

Hurtle out the twenties, bring on the thirties!

Like I said, in two days I bid farewell to my twenties.

In any person's life, I think the twenties are the most significant emotionally and mentally. Sure, 0-10 you grow up and learn a lot of stuff hitherto completely unknown. 11-20 you come to terms with some realities, face some new issues of growing up and in general spend some turbulent times.

Then on its one big roller coaster. You are stable enough yet not mature enough. And the next ten years completely alter the colour of your character like nothing else. Age sobers you and by the time you hit the thirties you are all philosophical. Well, at least this has been my experience :)

I thought, when I was 10, I couldn't really articulate well about 0-9. When I was 20, there was no blog where I could reflect. Now that I have both articulation and blog space all figured out, here is a simple life story.

20

Probably the most significant thing that happened when I was 20 was that I gave GRE. I always knew I wanted to go to the US because that is where I could make a quick buck and get back. My purpose was fueled by the typical middle class aspirations. And I cracked 2220. Which was good. I wanted to get into Wisconsin. I did. Big Ten, Top Ten. Done.

The next most significant thing that happened was I took my first flight ever. Which happened to be an international flight to Kuala Lumpur to present some paper. I was a student. The 5000 INR which was converted to ~100 USD weighed heavily on my mind and jeans pocket. It was the first time I was carrying so much cash, traveling alone, taking a flight, getting out of the country using my freshly minted passport and what not. I had butterflies in my stomach and heart and that is a gross understatement. I somehow finished and came back and I felt all grown up.

Life by 30 has come a full circle and my son, all of 20 days, did what I did when I was twenty years old, took his first flight :)

21

I graduated. My first degree. A B.Tech. I went abroad. To study, to achieve. I met frustration for the first time in my life. I paid taxes for the first time in my life. I knew what a valuable thing money was. And I knew what "not-knowing-where-your-next-meal-is-coming-from" feels like. And I swore I would move back some day when my Dad had his second heart stroke and I couldn't do one damn thing about it sitting half way around the globe with no money to travel and trying hard to fight off that 10K USD tuition bill. One good thing that happened is my whirlwind Europe tour in 2001 Dec. I went from living all my life in India to visiting three continents in just 10 months! I hit the gym for the first time in my life!

22

I learnt some serious life lessons. Saw treachery staring in my face. Spent god knows how many tears over life's ruthlessness.Felt cheated and used by one of my closest friends. Moved into my own accommodation as soon as I got an internship and could afford to do so. Realized that no price in money is too heavy to pay for a little peace of mind. I bought my first videocam and laptop :)I get my CCNA

23

Probably the most significant and long term impacting year. I finished my Masters. My second degree. An MS in Electrical Engineering. I saved some serious dough for the first time after moving to the US. I had a near-death accident (I-94 between Milwaukee and Chicago, just before Waukegan) from which I escaped miraculously with a minor neck ache. I got offered marriage on a platter by a very very dear friend and I was torn between wanting to say yes and not being sure about it all. I get my CCNP.


24


From here the years get all incrementally more important.

I spend my birthday at home after 3 years. Subhash buys me some sweet thing after a lot of contemplation if I will take it or not since I officially never said yes. I buy my first BIG ticket item (at that time, 5K USD was BIG), my Black Honda Accord. 97 model :) I face the pink-slip situation, I get laid off. I've just moved to a new town and bought a car and leased an apartment and I am jobless.

I remember that one day I walked back home with a heavy heart after paying my rent for the month. I had just enough left in the bank for a month's rent. And that spent, I was broke. No money to buy food too. And I didn't want to go into debt. So I was contemplating moving back, marrying Subhash and settling down as a housewife ;) Luckily the manager who had to lay me off, really wanted me back and somehow managed to smuggle me back in through someone else's budget. And I was back on track.

But from then it was one uncertain day after another. Always the invisible axe hovering over my neck.

After being stupid about it for six months I finally say yes :)

The H1 drama is witnessed. The guys who contracted me cannot do it so they sub contract me to someone who can. Finally I get my H1, one day before my OPT expires, on Jan 19th. I interview with Cisco on Jan 20th and hear positive from the first team I interviewed with. Since then the career has not looked back.

25

My parents visit me in the US. Subhash and I get engaged. Subhash moves to the US to be with me. I get married! Need I say more? :)

I forgot to add, I started this BLOG! ;)

26

Thanks to a great manager at work, the career really starts rocking. Slowly the cash starts building up and I start to spend with a vengeance for all those days that I spent hours in front of the cereal aisle trying to decide which is the cheapest one to buy.

27

I buy my dream. My Merc C-Class. I cannot believe that just three years ago I was living from hand to mouth and I realize this is why the US is called the land of opportunity, anything can happen here. Subhash's parents visit the US. After they leave, I finish my CCIE. We finally start to plan the move back now that their trip is done and all check list items have been taken care of. My parents visit, my Merc and his parents visit, my CCIE. All done. We move back home. To India!

28

Settled down to life in India. In fact we moved 10 days shy of me turning 28. This birthday too I spent at home, the first one after 4 years! I get my first hair cut ever in life in a salon. We buy another dream, our home in Bangalore and we have a dream house warming to boot! We discover we are going to have a baby!

29

We settle in our home, I make an important career role change mark, we have a baby boy, we name him Rohan, he turns 6 months and life seems all set to go! 

So there, I feel life is just beginning. The twenties is one decade I will NEVER forget. I hope I never forget the struggle and the value of some things which were learnt the hard way. The baby has transformed life in a sense that I feel completely aged and responsible for one more life in a way I have never felt before. It is a very fine line I trod, giving it my very best at every possible stage yet trying to keep things low key and not make a big noise about it. I hope I turn out a good wife, great parent, cool daughter and so on and so forth. Here is to the thirties. Let's rock!!

Ammamma

She was the last grandparent Subhash and I had. And we lost her last week.

My Ammamma. (Mom's mom) True to her nature, she was called Annapurna. (Goddess of agriculture/fertility) I have fond memories of her. But the memories I do not have of her are the ones for which I need to be most obliged. My mom tells me how much she did for me when I was a little infant of barely 1 month.

But I can truly cherish the ones I remember. When I was a kid, I used to insist on her listening to my A, B, C, D, E, F, G song and she always did so patiently. She used to have us pick all the Badams (Almond) from this huge tree in their yard and she would patiently extract the badam from each one and I always used to say she should do it faster because I was always the impatient glutton. She used to ask me to massage her feet with ghee and would offer me ghee as bribe if I did it. (I would never do it without the bribe). She was most interested in playing "Dayam" which is similar to the one Kauravas and Pandavas play in Mahabharata. We always used to try and not play with her, she was really good at it.

Subhash's parents visited her once when I was here and I remember how impressed his mom was at my Ammamma's Homoeopathy knowledge and how much she remembered at that fragile age.

When we lost my grandfather, it was rather a big blow for her. Followed by my uncle (my mom's elder brother). Since then, she suffered various injuries which coupled with age, rendered her rather immobile the past couple years. Subhash never got a chance to meet her and we always feel that loss. I saw her back in July, and what I saw tore me apart. I am glad the suffering is over for her and she is relieved now.