In recent times there has been a flurry of friends who are seriously planning to move back to India. One of the most common questions I get is "What should I bring? What did you guys take with you?". Other than ones like what is the cost of living in Bangalore (which I have another post for, look in the R2I tags), how much do I need to earn to live comfortable in Bangalore, where are the good schools in Bangalore etc.
Well, here is my take on what to bring back with you..
We limited the things we shipped to really very little. Rest what we could sell, we sold. The cot, the Yamaha digital keyboard, the LaZboy recliner, the TV, the home theater all this we sold. Most of my clothes, ones which I hadn't used in the past 3-4 months, I gave in charity. Kitchen entirely I gave away to friends. What we could sell we sold, rest we gave away. That is the summary.
What we got with us were limited to clothes, printer, miscellaneous kitchen items (one Farberware kadhai being something I just couldn't give up and still use to date), our Bose sound dock, smallish electronics like iPod, camera, wireless router etc. Of the bigger items that we shipped was our iRobot Roomba vacuum cleaner (which again needs a step down transformer since it doesn't work for 220V)
We didn't want to haul any major electronics like big-screen TV etc because of 1) Voltage issues and 2) Warranty issues.
We got out laptop for example and now its been having some issue. It is still in Fry's warranty period but we haven't been able to send it there. Although its just a laptop and a light tablet at that, we still haven't found anyone who can ferry it to California for us. If we had purchased something bigger I'm sure it would've been stuck with us all the same.
I wish I could have shipped at least my LaZboy and the digital keyboard but these are not exactly things that I miss today. Just nice-to-haves. I would also have liked to get some Corelle stuff because it is a lot more expensive here. Again, I don't miss it, just nice-to-have. I highly doubt I'd find much use for it, it would be more ornate than essential.
But in general you get everything here (including LaZboys), only they are slightly more expensive. So it will always be a case of shipping cost vs. selling + buying fresh here. I would say if you get a good price, sell it if you don't need it in the immediate future and you can always buy it back slowly out here. But if you are anyways shipping, makes sense to ship as much as you can. Only be careful with electronics that will need transformers to work here (non110/220V universal ones) and ones where there is a chance they will break during shipment. Rest of the stuff you can safely ship :)
This is all I could think of, if any of you has specific questions, please leave a comment, I will answer to the best of my ability. I am sure I have missed a lot of things :)
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Man or woman?
WARNING: This is a rather feminist post. Very rare coming from me.
I see so many cases where after a baby the woman stops work to raise the kids while the man continues his work, unfettered.
What am I talking about so many cases. Isn't this always the case? With a few, a very few exceptions maybe. Right, lets move on.
While this is quite ordinary as an occurrence, what are the reasons for it? The woman is a better care-giver? Or because the woman is "expected" to do it. I think that the "woman is a better care-giver" opinion is bust in our times. Once the baby is off of breast-milk, I think either of the parents can be as good a care-giver. Period.
I am not opposed to women quitting. If between me and Subhash, one of us had to quit, I'd gladly do it. Not because my career is not important. I worked equally hard for it. I went through a good deal of rough patches and there were times when I was willing to do just any job so long as it paid me and sustained me financially. So yes. I love my job and it will be hard for me to quit it. But I will, if it has to be the job or the baby. Simply because in my mind I will never be comfortable if I work and Subhash quits. That is all.
But I see husbands "asking" wives to quit. Because they are being the "good parent" by not wanting to put the baby in day-care. And because the mom will be a better care-giver. Why? You are not willing to put the baby in daycare AND are not willing to quit doesn't mean you label your wife as a better care-giver and make her quit.
Now, I have also seen some more practical reasons. Like the wife doesn't earn as much as the husband. And in cases where the wife can quit without altering the lifestyle of the household tremendously whereas the husband cannot quit, without significant cuts having to be made in terms of what you buy, where you live etc, of course it makes better sense for the wife to quit. I would have no issues with that. To be overly feminist and make the husband who is earning 20L quit when you are earning just 5L would be stupid. And the kind of pseudo-feminism that I so hate.
So when the reasoning is right and practical and it is psychologically comfortable for the woman, I think its fine if she has/wants to quit her job. But I don't think that it is quite right if the woman quits (although she doesn't want to) because her husband thinks she is a better care-giver. And no other visible practical reason.
I see so many cases where after a baby the woman stops work to raise the kids while the man continues his work, unfettered.
What am I talking about so many cases. Isn't this always the case? With a few, a very few exceptions maybe. Right, lets move on.
While this is quite ordinary as an occurrence, what are the reasons for it? The woman is a better care-giver? Or because the woman is "expected" to do it. I think that the "woman is a better care-giver" opinion is bust in our times. Once the baby is off of breast-milk, I think either of the parents can be as good a care-giver. Period.
I am not opposed to women quitting. If between me and Subhash, one of us had to quit, I'd gladly do it. Not because my career is not important. I worked equally hard for it. I went through a good deal of rough patches and there were times when I was willing to do just any job so long as it paid me and sustained me financially. So yes. I love my job and it will be hard for me to quit it. But I will, if it has to be the job or the baby. Simply because in my mind I will never be comfortable if I work and Subhash quits. That is all.
But I see husbands "asking" wives to quit. Because they are being the "good parent" by not wanting to put the baby in day-care. And because the mom will be a better care-giver. Why? You are not willing to put the baby in daycare AND are not willing to quit doesn't mean you label your wife as a better care-giver and make her quit.
Now, I have also seen some more practical reasons. Like the wife doesn't earn as much as the husband. And in cases where the wife can quit without altering the lifestyle of the household tremendously whereas the husband cannot quit, without significant cuts having to be made in terms of what you buy, where you live etc, of course it makes better sense for the wife to quit. I would have no issues with that. To be overly feminist and make the husband who is earning 20L quit when you are earning just 5L would be stupid. And the kind of pseudo-feminism that I so hate.
So when the reasoning is right and practical and it is psychologically comfortable for the woman, I think its fine if she has/wants to quit her job. But I don't think that it is quite right if the woman quits (although she doesn't want to) because her husband thinks she is a better care-giver. And no other visible practical reason.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Dr Kini - really depends on if he is right for you..
Prelogue - This post has been almost 3 months in the making. Thinking about the exact facts and things to say.
Well, read on if you are looking for a good OB/GYN (gynecologist) in Bangalore.
We were referred to Dr. Prakash Kini by Sm (who was referred to by Sa) and both had come back and told us he was one of the best Ob/Gyn around. Very old-fashioned, doesn't worry you too much, doesn't push for a C-Sec just because its easier (and more profitable) and so on.
When we began we were completely clueless (not that when it ended we had better ideas, but still) and so we just went with the flow and called Cradle for an appointment.
When we went to him first, we were not even sure if I was, in fact, pregnant. We asked him if he can ascertain and he said that if the home pregnancy test showed even a slight bar then that was it. And gave us a probable due date. I was shocked. No blood tests? No confirmation? Please, something to put me out of my nervousness of knowing and not knowing. He said no. He prescribed the Folic Acid and the multivitamin and decided the due date and asked us to come back for the Nuchal scan at 11 weeks.
I went home even more perplexed than before. I went to Cradle hoping to ascertain whether or not we were expecting and came back with a due date in hand. Of course till we went for the scan I didn't quite believe it, but that is a separate matter.
So this pretty much sums up my experience. With Dr. Kini you get a highly technical, no-nonsense, no-silly-talk, no chit-chat, extremely knowledgeable doctor. Who minds his business and minds it well.
But does that mean he is right for you?
The answer is, like all things in life, it depends (god! I am using this way too often.)
You can be a to-be parent looking for some assurances, some smiles, some chit chat etc. Or you can be a to-be parent content to know that everything is normal and get on with life.
If you are the former, he is a strict no-no for you. If you are the latter or in that range, he is perfect.
He checks all the vital stuff every visit, tells you if you are normal or not. If you are normal, he will encourage you to be more so, and go about your routine. The only thing he ever recommended to us was to eat vegetables and fruit. I remember every visit he used to say no smoking but you can have a glass of wine every now and then and I used to tell him every time that I am a teetotaler, and that I don't drink at all. Then he will ask you if you have any more questions. Quickly answer them and send you on your way. We used to travel 45 minutes (one way), wait for about 15 minutes for our turn, sit in the coffee shop (Barista) after the consultation for about 30 minutes. All for the 2 minutes with the doc!!
For me he worked really well because I fall in the latter extreme. I sometimes even used to suddenly realize I was pregnant.
So much so that even a doctor like Kini used to ask us every time if we had questions and he would be the more surprised that we have none, And I used to be really guilty of not having any questions and would frantically try to make up some questions on our long 45 min journey to Cradle once every three weeks :)
All in all, except for the fact that I was supremely disappointed at having to have a C-Sec after a perfectly normal pregnancy, I don't think I regret anything. And the C-Sec I guess he could little help. He did wait for a week for Rohan to come out on his own. And I was too low on the Bishop's score to be induced apparently so I guess he couldn't have done anymore than that. The son was simply reluctant to leave mommy and come out.
Post partum too he was really matter of fact. Made me climb four floors about 4 hours after the C-Sec saying I have to do it if I have to heal properly without pain killers. It did me a world of good as I realized well within a month. All that walking I did. I took a max of 6 low dose pain killers over that month, that too for only 3 or 4 days here and there when Rohan was extremely cranky and my pain particularly severe.
Also, any questions you have you can call him on his mobile, he will answer but he will keep it short (I don't think he can do it any other way when he is seeing 30 patients every day and all of them have his mobile number). I once had high fever and called him and he said just take Crocin three times, three days and you will be fine. Its normal common sense advice but it was very re-assuring as most often his advice is. One other time I was doubtful since my stitches were paining (within 15 days of C-Sec) and I called him and he said its normal. (Now I know better but then I was that ignorant yeah, I was expecting it to heal within a week ;) )
A nice example to sum it up would be that we went to him the other day to just make sure stitches were alright since I was having some slight-ish soreness when I cough etc. He checked everything and said I am good. Subhash asked when we can expect the thing to completely heal and he said you just need to get over it :) And he never once as much as smiled at the baby and did baby talk with him (after all he brought him into this world, we expect some bonding there). His only concern was his patient, the mother.
Now if I am a person who thinks its important for him to talk to my baby (emotional type), I'd probably not like him at all, but if I'm the type of person who couldn't care less, so long as he gives me a good technical run, he is great.
So there.
Thank you doc!
Well, read on if you are looking for a good OB/GYN (gynecologist) in Bangalore.
We were referred to Dr. Prakash Kini by Sm (who was referred to by Sa) and both had come back and told us he was one of the best Ob/Gyn around. Very old-fashioned, doesn't worry you too much, doesn't push for a C-Sec just because its easier (and more profitable) and so on.
When we began we were completely clueless (not that when it ended we had better ideas, but still) and so we just went with the flow and called Cradle for an appointment.
When we went to him first, we were not even sure if I was, in fact, pregnant. We asked him if he can ascertain and he said that if the home pregnancy test showed even a slight bar then that was it. And gave us a probable due date. I was shocked. No blood tests? No confirmation? Please, something to put me out of my nervousness of knowing and not knowing. He said no. He prescribed the Folic Acid and the multivitamin and decided the due date and asked us to come back for the Nuchal scan at 11 weeks.
I went home even more perplexed than before. I went to Cradle hoping to ascertain whether or not we were expecting and came back with a due date in hand. Of course till we went for the scan I didn't quite believe it, but that is a separate matter.
So this pretty much sums up my experience. With Dr. Kini you get a highly technical, no-nonsense, no-silly-talk, no chit-chat, extremely knowledgeable doctor. Who minds his business and minds it well.
But does that mean he is right for you?
The answer is, like all things in life, it depends (god! I am using this way too often.)
You can be a to-be parent looking for some assurances, some smiles, some chit chat etc. Or you can be a to-be parent content to know that everything is normal and get on with life.
If you are the former, he is a strict no-no for you. If you are the latter or in that range, he is perfect.
He checks all the vital stuff every visit, tells you if you are normal or not. If you are normal, he will encourage you to be more so, and go about your routine. The only thing he ever recommended to us was to eat vegetables and fruit. I remember every visit he used to say no smoking but you can have a glass of wine every now and then and I used to tell him every time that I am a teetotaler, and that I don't drink at all. Then he will ask you if you have any more questions. Quickly answer them and send you on your way. We used to travel 45 minutes (one way), wait for about 15 minutes for our turn, sit in the coffee shop (Barista) after the consultation for about 30 minutes. All for the 2 minutes with the doc!!
For me he worked really well because I fall in the latter extreme. I sometimes even used to suddenly realize I was pregnant.
So much so that even a doctor like Kini used to ask us every time if we had questions and he would be the more surprised that we have none, And I used to be really guilty of not having any questions and would frantically try to make up some questions on our long 45 min journey to Cradle once every three weeks :)
All in all, except for the fact that I was supremely disappointed at having to have a C-Sec after a perfectly normal pregnancy, I don't think I regret anything. And the C-Sec I guess he could little help. He did wait for a week for Rohan to come out on his own. And I was too low on the Bishop's score to be induced apparently so I guess he couldn't have done anymore than that. The son was simply reluctant to leave mommy and come out.
Post partum too he was really matter of fact. Made me climb four floors about 4 hours after the C-Sec saying I have to do it if I have to heal properly without pain killers. It did me a world of good as I realized well within a month. All that walking I did. I took a max of 6 low dose pain killers over that month, that too for only 3 or 4 days here and there when Rohan was extremely cranky and my pain particularly severe.
Also, any questions you have you can call him on his mobile, he will answer but he will keep it short (I don't think he can do it any other way when he is seeing 30 patients every day and all of them have his mobile number). I once had high fever and called him and he said just take Crocin three times, three days and you will be fine. Its normal common sense advice but it was very re-assuring as most often his advice is. One other time I was doubtful since my stitches were paining (within 15 days of C-Sec) and I called him and he said its normal. (Now I know better but then I was that ignorant yeah, I was expecting it to heal within a week ;) )
A nice example to sum it up would be that we went to him the other day to just make sure stitches were alright since I was having some slight-ish soreness when I cough etc. He checked everything and said I am good. Subhash asked when we can expect the thing to completely heal and he said you just need to get over it :) And he never once as much as smiled at the baby and did baby talk with him (after all he brought him into this world, we expect some bonding there). His only concern was his patient, the mother.
Now if I am a person who thinks its important for him to talk to my baby (emotional type), I'd probably not like him at all, but if I'm the type of person who couldn't care less, so long as he gives me a good technical run, he is great.
So there.
Thank you doc!
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