Back to India - Footnotes

If you have come back looking for my earlier Part 2, its now merged with Back to India and is more streamlined. Actually, I was very apprehensive about writing this post. In fact, I got a couple of my friends to read it and tell me if it was not too offensive, didn't feel very extreme etc etc. You see, I blog as an outlet for my thoughts, I know I can write anything, its my space, but all the same, I care about the people who read it. And this is a sensitive/touchy topic and everyone reading it can interpret it in their own way. One of the perils of written language. And I didn't want to sound arrogant when saying anything. So I took feedback, went over it, trimmed it down where people thought it might give offense and put it all back into one post.

Again, what I say here is purely my own opinion. The object of conversation here is a few million Indians who migrate every year to the US. And obviously there cannot be one general rule for all those millions of people. Each has their own reasons and each has their own circumstances to deal with. If I were in a different position, culturally or economically or in any other way, I would have probably had another opinion. That is what Subhash has taught me. Everyone decides their life based on their environment. What seems the right thing for us need not be right for everyone else. What is seemingly wrong to us, can probably be the best thing for someone else. So I've learnt from him not to be judgemental. But I do love having these discussions. Because every time I do, I get a new perspective from someone new. And that either reinforces what I already think (when I hear a similar opinion) or forces me to find clarity in my thoughts (when I hear a conflicting opinion). And every time its clearer, I am happier :)

Back to India

(Disclaimer: This post is long. You cannot sue me for sore eyes or numbed brain. You have been sufficiently warned ;) )

An ever enterprising colleague sent this to us a few months ago.

http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/india/article.cfm?articleid=4236

I have been intending to take a shot at a critic to this feature since then. First I took a couple months before I could read it in full. Then I had to prepare for my CCIE so that pushed my critic-writing to another couple months. But finally here I am.

Actually, there is another thing I should mention, well a couple things, before I start. Intentionally, I haven't read this article again before posting this blog. I went over it in my mind, thrashed it out with Subhash, got some perspectives from him, put my own thoughts together with his and now have come to some conclusions which I think are not as extreme as they were earlier. He always has this moderating effect on me;) The second thing is that, whatever I express here is solely my opinion, rising out of my own experiences here in the US. Now I know that the said experience can range from one end of the spectrum to another so no offence meant if you think the exact opposite of what I do:)

Here goes my critic..

1) The author mentions, and repeatedly, that she was always in a flux about whether or not to go back because she spent those 10 glorious single years in the US which put the US on a pedestal for her. I think more often than not, its those "un"glorious first years for most of us. For me, it was those terrible first few years. Mainly because I went through a bad phase in life then. Also, there are some other categories of people who find it intolerable in the US. I have always observed that people who have had some amount of independence in India while growing up never find any great difference between there and here. (No sudden surge of independence). And ones that have lived affluently in India just can't tolerate the US because undeniably you got to do all your chores yourself and there will be no one at your beck and call to do the lowly stuff for you. I fall somewhat in the first category (not entirely).

2) The second thing she mentions repeatedly is that US is "meritocratic". Now that is one thing I completely and utterly disagree with. The US is as meritocratic or as non-meritocratic as any other country. Personally, I have seen rampant non-meritocracy in the US. I have seen talentless people getting ahead, way ahead, so long as they know how to talk their way through. I have often observed that as long as you can talk, whether or not what you say makes any sense, as long as you can make it "sound" impressive, you are through. In one sense, to be able to talk like that is a "merit". And I suppose that way, the US can be considered meritocratic. (And after that H1-B lottery fiasco from last year, a lot of my fellow citizens will agree with me that there was nothing meritocratic about it ;) )

3) In the article, the author mentions how she thought all desis in the US were "pretentious" when they took up local hobbies. I don't feel so extremely about that. You can always adopt local culture, it adds something to your own lifestyle. (Of course whatever I adopt or do, I think there is nothing wrong with it, its very natural, but I can seem pretentious to the author, and that is also fair enough:) )I carve a pumpkin for Halloween, that doesn't make me think I am traitor because I perform pujas at home for Indian festivals too. Halloween pumpkins bring something of that creativity out in me, and it enriches me that way so I do it:) As simple as that!

4) I never dress by rule, I always wear what I want, so I end up wearing jeans to the temple and salwars to work, more often than not. But then my whole dressing is fusion. So I don't go through any torture when I have to attend Desi parties. But then I have never attended "happening" parties, just ones with friends. I guess all goes in those. So I can't really be a critic on that.

As to the rest of her piece I pretty much agree with most of it. We are economic immigrants. We are not prone to hate our country so we cannot completely give in to the US culture and mingle and disappear as one in the crowd with them. We still follow our culture, believe in some parts of it at least. Hence, we always stand out and have our kids labeled ABCDs.

While on the same topic, one of colleagues mentioned this in a casual conversation and it struck me much. She said it so casually that I was surprised, because it had a very deep impression on me. She said, "What is a job, its just a way to earn money and keep yourself occupied. Leaving your home for a job is the most ridiculous thing.". And that perspective was one I never took before. Yet, I sort of agreed with it. Not completely. I know that a lot of people cannot afford to think of a job as a mere nothing. If those people didn't have opportunities in India and came here, I will not say its ridiculous, but I would call that necessity. Yet sometimes it does feel that this is all not worth it.

These days we have had discussions. Whenever the topic of moving back to India springs up, everyone has their own opinion. And I see one whole spectrum of opinions. They mostly range in the India is hot/unhygienic/polluted/cramped/corrupted range. Yet I remain unfazed. Whatever people want to debate with me, I simply say this:

US could be a great country. It could be paradise too. But it cannot be home to me and will never be able to take India's place in my psyche.

Old Friends and New Fancies

No. Not a fancy name for my post. It is just the name of the book I finished reading last night. After two 24 hour long flight journeys and post dinner half-hour reading slots, I finally finished it :D

It is an imaginary sequel for Jane Austen's novels. Her Pride and Prejudice leaves you wanting more. More about what happens after Lizzy and Darcy marry? How do they live? How does she adjust in the family.

I was contemplating which of the numerous imaginary sequels to pick up as a start. I am glad I chose this book. It is an easy read. And Sybil Brinton, stays as close to Jane Austen as possible. I didn't feel like I was reading an imaginary sequel. She has done a good job. Apparently this was the first sequel written for any Jane Austen novel and it doesn't disappoint. Must read if you claim to be a Jane Austen fan! I don't want to spoil the plot by revealing it, but it picks and chooses a few characters from all of Jane Austen's half-a-dozen novels and beautifully intertwines the characters in an after-life of their own novels.

I think I will start Darcy's diaries next.

Next I need to catch "Becoming Jane". This weekend, yes.

MAD is great!

I recently started reading the MAD Magazine. Subhash picked up one on his way home one day and I took it to the gym yet another day and I am hooked. I give it to you guys, excellent parody. Unparalleled sarcasm.

I was reading an AD in that magazine today. From their latest edition, with the Spiderman cover. Wondering why US Army would advertise on MAD of all the places;)

When I actually read the AD, my doubt was doubled. It read

"Patriotism is a great inspiration..
Unemployment is a great inspiration"

(Definitely these, I have to cross check for sentence accuracy)

I was like, wow! Its come to this. Shamelessly admitting that is for nothing, you should join the US Army if you are jobless. And the ad showed a greedy-looking lieutenant helping a surly looking slightly-obese guy sign some papers and smiling away like he won a conquest. Another referral ;)

And it read:

Lieutenant (or was it Captain? Heck! Who cares!) such and such helping unemployed Raoul such and such sign on.


I went "I don't know what to say". Then I read some more pages and came to another AD. This one read

"Feel the surge of excitement" and showed troops marching. And also read

"Excitement is taking part in aimless wars with other soldiers" or some such thing.

Now I was convinced, this can't be as brazen as it looks. Then I scanned the whole page carefully and found this:

Parody AD by MAD


Ha ha ha. I am definitely watching for that space;)

Lines from P&P

I was thinking of statuses for my GTalk and Yahoo messenger, yeah I like to have new and refreshing statuses, a little something for entertainment for my friends list, and not to mention, some curious statuses also manage to shake-up the lazy ones and actually prompt them to ask me what the status means:D So last couple weeks was so crazy at work, I know I mentioned it earlier, I couldn't think of any good ones, so chose to write some lines from my favourite BBC series Pride and Prejudice...here are some good ones. (Both from the 1970s one and the 1995 one)


Now, I won't go into cliches and say things that everyone already knows, like "A single man in possession of a large fortune....." OR even "You must allow me to tell you how ardently...."


-Aye! Very true..damn tedious waste of an evening (Mr. Hurst after their assembly ball at Hertfordshire) (1995)

-Now THAT is neither here nor there (Aunt Gardiner, to Lizzy, about her dodging the prospect of being in love with Wickam) (1970s)

-Your mother will not speak to you ever again if you don't marry Mr Collins, and I will not speak to you if you do (Very obvious where and who) (1995)

-So much can be considered sensibility, the rest must be called waste (Lady Catherine de Bourgh to Darcy about how little food he ate from his plate) (1970s)

-As a connoisseur of human folly I would have thought you to be impatient to be savouring these delights (Mr Bennet to Lizzy on her way to Kent, about how she would like to meet her cousin Mr Collins and Lady Catherine de Bourgh) (1995) (I had to dodge the spell check to get my savouring right;) )

-Aye for you are as handsome as the rest of them, Mr. Bingley might like YOU best of the party (Mr. Bennet suggesting that Mrs. Bennet send the girls to call on Mr. Bingley by themselves, lest he should like HER;) ) (1995)

-I could more easily forgive HIS pride had he not mortified MINE (Lizzy to Charlotte about Darcy refusing to dance with her at the assembly ball) (1970s)

-Where does discretion end and avarice begin (Lizzy to Aunt Gardiner, about warning her against entering an insensible relation with Wickam) (1970s)

-I deserve neither such praise nor such censure. I am not a great reader and take pleasure in many things (Lizzy retorts to Miss Bingley who says she is a great reader and takes pleasure in nothing else) (1995)


I will keep adding to these and of course, if anyone can think of any good ones that they like, I will put them in too:)

Pride and Prejudice

Yeah Teju, this one has to have a place in our blogs;) So much influence:P

I went to watch Pride and Prejudice yesterday. The one that has Keira Knightley. Yes the one that is made a decade after the best Pride and Prejudice you will ever see;)

I wanted to write a review for this one, but, I am incapable of. I have seen the 1995 one so many times, yes when I say many, I mean many, that I can never judge another Pride and Prejudice without prejudice;) The movie (2005) was OK. I went to the cinema with a notion that I will not like the movie, so there ends all the hope of fair criticism:) It changed some parts of the story, cut short many more, but overall it did a decent job. It didn't totally murder the book, it did the best it could when dealing with a 2 hour slot in which to show a 6-hr worth movie. BUT I have to say one thing FOR this movie, it was definitely more realistic. Way way way more dirt shown in the Bennet household than the 1995 series even dared to explore:) The 1995 series had everyone "talking" about how the Bennet's were going definitely on the way to becoming poor, how unless one of the girls married rich, their hopes were all dashed, and so on and so forth. But only when you watch the 2005 movie you realize, how poor they really ARE. How much dirt is really there under their feet in their home:) How broken and dilapidated Longbourn really is. The 1995 one tried, but it was no where close to this one in showing the actual misery:)

So kudos to this movie for being more realistic:) And kudos to 1995 for how much it entertains:)

And kudos to Jane Austen for her unrivalled wit and sarcasm!:) And for being a perfect connoisseur of human folly!!!!!