Remembering May 1997

It was March 1997. For our batch of students, the most frenzied phase. Entrance examinations, college examinations, board examinations, examinations, applications, admissions. We studied and prepped and we were ready.

If only..

Starting from the day our Math paper was published on the front page in Deccan Chronicle, the iconic Hyderabad paper, our lives went on a rollercoaster. The entire Intermediate board exams were cancelled and re-scheduled to late April/early May. In what was a never-before-possibly-never-after, the IIT-JEE entrance exam was also compromised that year. Luckily the EAMCET examination was compromised just the year before so we were spared having to re-take that one as well. But the end result of all this was a medley of confusing mess of exams all sitting on top of one another, leading to a hectic May. Heck, I didn't even re-appear for the JEE since I was really exhausted and frustrated with this whole rigmarole. 

Then the results came - we basically had a fair/stalls setup in different places/districts where memorandum of marks were distributed. Students who needed them urgently had no choice but to travel to those locations to collect. If you didn't need them in a hurry, you could still wait for the usual channels. We had written umpteen letters to authorities to have the results delivered by the deadline for application to BITS-Pilani which was June-30. We got them ON June-30, thanks to then CM, Chandrababu Naidu really stepping up. From picking the marks to rushing to the only post office that was still open - Secunderabad HPO, to sending a telegram of the marks to BITS-Pilani before close of admission deadline (this was the only BITS at the time), we didn't even have enough time to look through the marks sheet and process the results and spend a moment to enjoy/relish the end of 15 years of hard work put in high school and +2. Such was the state of affairs. We went home exhausted and relieved more than anything else.

Then the local counseling got delayed. I had to make a call between taking the BITS admission or waiting for the local prospect. I had more or less decided to go to the US after engineering and so didn't want to spend even the engineering years in a hostel and so, my choice was simpler.

Local counseling started. I picked JNTU over OU - it was basically a choice between 20KM commute vs 2 KM and I picked the 20KM commute and I remember my Dad saying throughout the way back that if I have a chance, I should change it - why would I put myself through that pain for four years when I had admission to a college next door. But, I was sure I didn't want to pursue EEE, so wanted to at least give myself a chance to change it. Thank God, I was finally able to move to ECE for having picked this horrible commute, else, who knows, I might have regretted the JNTU decision big time. Or, in the very  least I would have had to listen to many "I-told-you-so", "You-should-have-picked-OU" lines. Given whom I married later, of course, now I can safely claim it was all pre-ordained that I rejected every other (and better) college to end up in JNTU - just to meet him ;)

Well, all that frenzy done and dusted. Now all set to start engineering, right? Hell, no. We joined on December-29-1997. Do NOT ask why. The local process kept getting delayed. And as if to stake a claim to being the batch of 1997-2001, we joined formally with just two days left in 1997 and went to college exactly for those two days before breaking for the new year :)))

So we ended up studying and clearing one year worth of first year engineering material in a record five months!

Anyway, rewind to that phase between July 1997-December 1997 - 6 months. A bunch of teenagers who finished college, were ready for engineering, knew which college they were going to and basically, HAD NOTHING left to do except wait. That was the time of our lives! We went to every eatery in Hyd, every movie theatre, saw all kinds of crappy movies, ate all kinds of food, basically hanged-out around the town like there was no tomorrow.

Thanks to that frenzied May, 25 years ago, we had a blissful 6 month following. The best time of our lives!

Of course, it was agonizing to live through those 6 months, not knowing when we will start (basically like our pandemic now), but thanks to being young and the advantages that come with it, we did manage to really enjoy ourselves thoroughly!

Remembering Ma, 10 years after..

This Diwali was like any other - but I couldn't shake off the thought of that Diwali 10 years ago, when we had to rush my mother-in-law to emergency at Manipal. On the way there, she kept saying, she might not survive this bout of "Amavasya" hospitalization. Her mom passed away on an Amavasya and she was somehow sure she would too. We came back - very sober, very reluctant to "celebrate". We burst a few crackers for formality and called it a night.

Although she survived that Amavasya night, she passed away exactly one Indian month later on the Amavasya following. She held on to her life so she could meet my brother-in-law one last time - till he came down, she battled hard. Not many immigrant kids are lucky like that - to find closure and be around when a parent passes away, but she made it possible for him, she wouldn't let go without him being around. 

After he came down, she, in fact recovered enough to spend about a week at home with his family and all her grand-kids. As soon as he left to attend to some work in Hyderabad, we had to rush her to emergency again the following day and that was the last time she was ever home. 

Ten years later, every time I see her picture or think of her, the only thought that crosses my mind is, she should have lived at least a couple more decades. She worked all her life and looked forward to retirement and spending time with grand kids. In fact she used to tell Rohan, that when he starts school, she would pack lunch boxes for him just like she used to for her boys. This morning Rohan said, Amma, she never got a chance to pack my lunch boxes. She never saw me go to school.

She should have lived, she should have been healthy and happy and lived at least a couple more decades. The last few months were tough for all of us, seeing her wither away, lose all her strength and consequently becoming miserable at her own lack of ability to perform even simple daily tasks - for someone who always was going about here and there, it really irritated her confining herself to one place the whole day. Adding to that dialysis thrice a week on top of her already weak frame - it was just painful to see her go through it all :( She wanted to do so much, she couldn't do anything, she really wished to be gone rather than live like that - she even said that ever so often.

One of the nights before we rushed her to emergency the last time, I was giving her an oil massage to ease the pain in her legs and when I was done, she said, you have done so much for me, I will come back and be born to you. When I see my younger one, I feel, she kept her end of this promise. I did really want a boy so she even became one to make me happy :)

She was one of my very vocal supporters and never spared any words when it came to praising or comforting me. I really miss that. Every promotion, every milestone, every achievement, first thing I wonder, if she was around, she would have said this and been so happy. We could have celebrated so well together. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be.

One of her last blogs - we all miss you Ma..

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Yesterday I returned from hospital after treatment fully exhausted , tired and hungry .Divya served me hot delicious lunch affectionately inspite of her busy work schedule ,Icouldnot stop myselffrom saying annadata sukhibhava .Ofcourse daily we have hot meals but when u r hungry and weak it makes alot of difference .GOD BLESS HER .

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The BIG ten!

So, it has been ten years since we moved back to India! Time flies!!

Life has never been more content - all those little inconveniences notwithstanding. In fact someone was asking when we recently visited Hyd, about whether we have plans to immigrate and settle abroad. I said we were abroad and we moved back, and were particular about not having kids in the US, and they found that strange :)

As always, I hope fervently that the kids grow up to love India like we do!

There is only one motherland, there is just one India.

And even today, when I sing the national anthem, my eyes well up.

Every. Single. Time.

Jaya He!

Mad town

Last night I dreamed about being in Madison. Not sure why, just like that, out of the blue. Its been ten years since I set sight on the only American town my heart will ever belong to! The scenario was that I was just driving past my old homes and eventually going along E Washington headed towards I-90 (the Mad-Chicago drive).

Why, no idea. But I did end up waking up nostalgic. I have a love-hate relationship with that time of my life but make no mistake, I LOVE Madison. It was the place where I first flew free, tested my wings, found strength in tough times, battled gloom, faced a lot of hardship, financial, mental, you name it, but also found a lot of things that I hold dear to this day. (Did I mention Babcock ice creams, my favourite anti-depressants? :D)

Often I have wished I had more money at that time. If I was not worrying about how to manage the groceries next month or that tuition next sem, then I would have enjoyed the bliss that the town offered way more! It was a proper university town blessed with oodles of nature (of course when the sun shone) and even winter did not seem very depressing most times, thanks to the college crowd, football cheer, Halloween rackets, Christmas parades, and what not.

I did learn a lot - lived with total strangers for the first time. Experiencing how living with room-mates, all sizes and flavours of them, would be, gaining new friendships. I learned how to swim, play racquetball, went gymming for the first time ever in life, ran regularly at the student facilities (SERF, NAT, Shell) depending on where I was living at the moment and how my schedule looked like that sem. Check-out how cool SERF is - it had a heated indoor Olympic pool and also a full fledged indoor running track on one of the levels! Running and gymming is something I started way back then and have still not given up on now as a habit!

In all probability, the one and only truly foreign culture/living experience for me, will ever be in Madison. (Only saying that since I am unlikely to go anywhere in the future which will be so "white" :) ) We had an American undergrad and another gay room-mate for a sem. It was a total eye-opener. The gay roomie had to be the sweetest. Hands down. I attended an Easter service with my office mate and co-TA one year. Complete with an egg treasure hunt. She also took me to a couple of other proper mid-west type community events. The discussions and the flavour at the events were very typically mid-west. Then there was also the ECE330 class I used to TA. I learned how to say "x over y" rather than x by y" the very hard way since my students would just not get it otherwise. I learned "zee" and unlearned "zed". Several such things. If, on the contrary, I had always been in California, then I am sure I would have never been exposed to any of this great stuff!

There is so much in the print about increasing racism in the US. When I went to Europe for my first break after landing in the US in December 2001/Jan 2002, I was only too glad to come back to the US. Although nothing untoward had happened in Europe, the US somehow felt more "welcoming". More rustic, more down-to-earth. I cannot say the same for the US I left behind in 2008. The increase in racism, or the you-are-outsiders type of treatment was very palpable even in a place like Sunnyvale. I was glad in some ways to be coming back at that time. I am not sure how Madison is faring right now. From the time I landed in 2001 to when I left in 2004, it went from one Indian store to five and several Indian restaurants. Whenever something like that happens, the "natives" do tend to start resisting.

But I am hoping that if I go back some day, I would find it still the same innocent college town which welcomed everyone with open arms!

14 and counting

Today I finish 14 years of working at a desk! I still remember my first job as a co-op at GE-Lunar in Madison - the first couple of days I was totally freaked out and wondered how I would spend the rest of my working life sitting within the same building for 8 hours straight! If I sat at the desk for more than an hour, I would feel fidgety and start to feel sleepy at the same time. It was a really nerve-wracking experience - and since it was the first couple of days (plus it was winter!), I wouldn't dare to step out for lunch, which meant 9-5 in the same building, on the same floor. I was zapped. I would never survive this for long.

And yet, life moved on. I adapted. I never thought I would survive in a techie role for more than a couple of years and yet, here I am :) Getting bored of just doing a management role and so doing something technical to "keep it interesting".

Who would have thought! :)

Small mercies!

Thank you to God for helping me survive the worst day yet in this year, yesterday. Started with me having a nasty fall at 5 in the morning. I've been running distance since 15 years and never once did such a thing happen. One second I was thinking of Ayana's technique, next second I was wondering why I was flying, and the third I was flat on a black top road on my right hand. The only silver lining being that I had no major injuries and was able to run 5k after the fall. But the right palm and shoulder were bruised badly and hurt like hell. I get to work thinking the worst is over when my worried mom calls after a couple of hours and suggests we take my father in law to the hospital. He had fever which was down by Wednesday only to suddenly recur on Thursday. After 7-8 hours at the hospital with him, I get home to find my older one running a temperature and throwing up whatever he ate. In all this, my right palm and shoulder continued to go worse..

Phew 😌 for all that, this morning went like a dream. I was able to run my usual today. I literally single-handedly, since my right hand was of no use and Subhash was at the hospital with father-in-law, got kids ready for school, and I was actually happy that both of them were healthy enough to even be going to school! Could've danced even with my painful hand, so glad I was.

Hope to not have another day like this ever!

Like the eternal optimist, I was happy waking up this morning that things weren't much worse, they could have been, I could have broken some bones, my father in law's diagnosis could have been a lot more serious, my parents might have been out of town, and I would have had to fend for myself etc etc. Thank god for small and big mercies and thank god for family!!

Closing 2015

Every year, we shut down at work for about 10 days, take PTO by force, (although, I would anyway do it) and have a good time. Since Rohan was born, and was old enough, I have been using the shut down time, to explore the city a bit more. We do spend most shut downs in Bangalore, thanks to Subhash being in retail and December not being a very friendly season for him to take off, it being the commercial-riot time and what not!

This year, I think we spent it very well too. Friday, Christmas - we went to the hitherto unexplored Gopalan Signature Mall on Old Madras Road in the evening. Oh and this was after I did my annual kitchen cleaning ritual all in the morning! Yay! Mall was very average and very crowded - no loss by not visiting further. I think except UB City and Phoenix plus both Forums, I don't like any other malls I've visited so far.

Saturday - December 26 - another long pending check list off - Bannerghatta National Park. I must say we were very happy with the zoo, the animals were aplenty (whatever varieties they had), monkeys were roaming all over the zoo, but kept to themselves, and all the animals very very active. Singapore Zoo on the other hand was highly over rated, all animals were heavily drugged and we had to wait ages to catch glimpses of some of them.

Monday - Dec 28 - the customary annual watch maintenance round - took watches which needed straps and batteries and drove to Indiranagar, took the metro ride from there to MG Road, walked around MG Road, Infantry Road, Brigade road etc, Rohan held up very well. Father in law was meeting some batch mates of his in MG Road so we went together, then we got back to Indiranagar, and did some timepass there waiting for him to get back by the Metro, then came back home together. Time. Well. Spent.

Tuesday - Dec 29 - Customary annual HAL Aerospace Museum trip - first time for Rohit, fourth for Rohan. Was a good one hour spent there :) Evening visited Subhash's office with Rohan and Father in law - BMTC Volvo and auto combined. Came back with Subhash. A happy child was Rohan when he realized how many modes of transport he used that day ;)

Wednesday - Dec 30 - again a long pending checklist item - Jawaharlal Nehru Planetarium. Rohan enjoyed it. Me and father in law went with him, the show was pretty nice and there was a small sized science park outside which was worth a good 15 minutes in the sun :)

Thursday - Dec 31 - Again a Metro Ride on Rohan's demand - this time some mundane work near Cauvery Bhavan - so again the three of us, me, father in law and Rohan set off, took the car to Indiranagar, metro to MG Road, Auto from there to Cauvery Bhavan, back, rinse and repeat! He was happy again, Metro is his favourite velagiri in Bangalore.

Friday - Jan 1 - this was a repeat wish. CCD on Brigade road! Took mom and dad with both kids this time, Baiyappanahalli Metro to MG Road, CCD, some window shopping on Brigade road and back after buying Rohan a 3-D "Tower Bridge of London" Puzzle from a street vendor. He definitely was in high spirits the whole time, excited to be going with his younger brother and coming back with his precious gift!

So there, it is weekend again and from Monday we get back to routine, for another three months, till the kid gets his summer break!

Seeing the world - 2015

So it was time for the annual vacation of 2015 - this time we zeroed in on Europe because Mom had to attend her graduation at London anyway. After a long thought process about what cities to cover, we decided to keep it simple and just do two cities - Paris and London - since with two young kids and three senior citizens, anything beyond that would be far fetched and very strenuous.

It was a 9 day trip and it was a fabulous one although very tiring - especially for my Dad I presume, since my younger one refused any other mode of getting around except for my Dad carrying him. Phew! I have no idea how he managed.

Day 1 - Disneyland. It was freezing! We got a place very close to the metro so it wasn't so much of a commute but was the day freezing or what, probably one of the coldest in October. It ruined the whole experience, but the kids were excited to meet Mickey (although the older one did get a tad bit too old for it - he said it is not Mickey, it is some guy dressed as Mickey :( ) and of course buy some nice souvenirs - the older one was especially pleased with his McQueen pull-suitcase.

Day 2 - Arrive in Paris from Marne-la-Vallee. We reached around noon. Only half a day left. Decided to do Eiffel by day and night - mom did get very tired - going by Metro was a bad idea. Should have stuck to the cab. But Eiffel in all its glory by day and night was worth it. Again younger one refused to get off Dad, and we had a chill towards the evening - plus all the climbing up and down was very tiring for the seniors - but well, how many times do you do it in a lifetime, so it's ok. They were quite sportive about it.

Day 3 - Louvre. Decided to ditch the Metro after yesterday's experience and took the cab. Louvre was a good experience, everyone saw Mona Lisa - one check mark off the list. Everyone liked it, plus it kept us from the cold weather ;) We got back early around 5 PM, seniors played cards etc, after the kids went to sleep, Subhash and I took off for Paris by night - very late in the night but hey, who is complaining - went to Place de la Concorde, walked along Avenue des Champs Elysees, went to Arc the Triomphe and back - by Metro. Good experience by the night.

Day 4 - Did the Paris city tour by open bus. Everyone got to see Notre Dame, Pont Neuf, Place de la Concorde, houses of Parliament, Arc de Triomphe, Avenue des Champs Elysees, Moulin Rouge etc. And back by evening. Very tired but happy :)

Day 5 - Off to London - by Eurostar! It was a great day - weather wise, plus the sights from Eurostar were amazing! More determined to go back for a proper Eurail vacation when the kids are a little older! Arrived in the London apartment around 5 PM, it was much better weather. One of my cousins came over, we had dinner and called it a day!

Day 6 - London Eye and bus tour - much more disappointing than the Singapore Flyer because of the rain - couldn't see anything clearly. Plus cars were cramped. In Singapore, they let us all fly alone in one car, here we were with at least three other groups - although cars were empty - it was quite stupid actually. Plus the cars were less clean - probably because of the damp weather. But had a good darshan of London from a 100 ft perspective :) Took the open bus tour to cover the western part of London - went to cheapside, London Bridge and Tower bridge. Walked back on Westminster bridge before taking a cab home. We did at least two to three relaxed walks on Westminster - with Big Ben in sight - the son becomes a huge Big Ben and London Eye fan!

Day 7 - London tour - East End - started with a cab to Buckingham - saw the change of guards, then started on the East loop tour. Stopped off at Trafalgar, Piccadilly circus, Madame Tussauds, Baker Street, saw Paddington (so many remembrances from Wodehouse and Sherlock Holmes), finally ended in Regent Street. What a place! It didn't disappoint. Still feel it was over-rated, I mean, Indiranagar 100ft is equally lively ;) But the Hamley's store was a big hit with the kids! They had fun picking out their Octonauts toys and we finished with a dinner at a Thai place there and cabbed home. Fun day!

Day 8 - Mom left for her hotel and conference and we were supposed to leave back for Paris and take a flight back home from Charles de Gaulle. Or so we thought. My facebook post from after we successfully put ourselves on a plane back home - albeit at a nauseatingly high cost!

""
Horrifying day yesterday. London to Paris connection on easyJet refused to let us board since they were overbooked. We travelled from Luton to Kings cross, changing a bus and a train, to try the train to Paris but nothing was available. Then went to Heathrow(oh, and to reach terminal 4, took us an hour thanks to no one knowing the right directions!!) but nothing there too and we had to book ourselves fresh on Jet airways after traveling across London horribly by bus, train, cab and what not. Oh and the souvenir shopping and chocolates went for a toss in this loss of a day. And did I mention that last minute tickets from airports don't come cheap even one way?😞 One can only resort to philosophy in these situations, sigh!! Thanks a lot easyJet! Folks travelling by them next time, please remember to check in well ahead of time even if they don't mention it anywhere!!!
"" 

Note to self - never get cocky with planning - I planned a perfect trip but neglected one small step of checking-in online and paid a very nasty price for it, financially and emotionally. Well, at least I got wiser - for the next trip.

Two things that I think worked very well - renting apartments vs hotels - we got to stay together unlike in Singapore where we booked two rooms. Carrying along packaged food - MTR, Ashirvad etc were life savers, since we rented apartments, it was easy to cook rice and dal and rotis and sabzis and kids were well fed at least twice in a day. Plus laundry was a breeze. 

Want to show the seniors some more check-mark places across the world in the next few years so they can enjoy them while they have the energy and patience! Hope it all goes to plan :)

 

We all ..

After a much awaited wait, father in law finally came back from his US sojourn today. Now the family feels complete again. The younger one has picked up so much conversation in the time that he was away that it is mind-blowing. He keeps them thoroughly entertained.

I know I've said it so many times and almost sound like a broken record now, but it is hard to imagine what life would be like without having parents around. When my dad goes away for a few days or mom leaves for work for sometime or father in law travels every now and then, it feels very vacant and void. When they are back, it is like a happy re-union. I feel thankful for being in this place and time and with family. Nothing really beats it. Needless to say the pampering the kids get from grandparents is truly unparalleled! And it is an experience I wouldn't have them miss for anything else in the world.

Bharat Mata ki Jai

Very naturally, thanks to school, Rohan has picked up the National Anthem, he sings it quite well but of course misses a few words which I have been trying to fix. I believe at the end of the Anthem in school, they close by saying Bharat Mata ki Jai, thrice.

The beauty of the whole thing is not even that..my two-year-old younger one, now sings the Anthem, of course in broken words and half sentences and what is more, also tops it off with a Bharat Mata ki Jai, thrice. Anything his brother says is sacrosanct for him and he picks up whatever his brother teaches him!

It is just heart-warming to hear them sing the Anthem and say the words "Bharat Mata ki Jai" over and over again - albeit without knowing what it really means...

Ah, the little pleasures..

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is Dad's birthday. We were all able to spend sometime together with my sister, which was undoubtedly the highlight. It is always heart-warming to see the cousins mingle and create a racket :)

Dad has always had a special place in our lives. And if I ever thought it was done, I could not be any farther away from the truth. Ever since they have moved to Bangalore, they've just enriched our lives in so many more and newer ways. Especially, Dad totally takes care of the younger one and the younger one refuses to be served by anyone except him. Not just child-care activities, he has taken on a whole lot of other tasks at home, he completely manages groceries, gardening, water, anything and everything you can think of. I have a tough time figuring out some of these things now for myself when he is traveling out of town.

For probably the first and only time in my life, I have been consistently able to let the responsibilities of a baby be taken over by someone else, wthout having to worry or be nervous about how they are managing! And that, for an OCD driven person like me, is saying a LOT!

They've always stood by me in different stages of life, regardless of how I have behaved. Without this unstinting support, I don't think I would/could have done half the things I did/do now :) So big thanks for that!

There was once this time when my dad said to me, I wonder if I will live to see you graduate (this was when he was fresh after his heart-attack in 1997). I say, dad, you will live to see my kids graduate! Amen to that!!

Here is wishing you many more years of health and happiness and here is wishing us many more years of your presence in our lives!!

PS: Dad's birthday invariably reminds me of the next day which was when I first immigrated to another country, the US. That was fourteen years ago. All these years I used to think it was the day I flew from the nest. For the past couple of years, I don't feel that way anymore, since the nest is back with me! :)

Good days..

I keep forgetting to log this one..

I had to go to Hyderabad at short notice recently. Anyone who has attempted it knows that getting Bangalore-Hyderabad railway reservations at short notice is an impossible task!

So I logged in not very hopeful. The journey was two weeks away. Normally, for a 2 AC ticket, I would expect this to be at WL25 or so. I was pleasantly surprised to see it at RAC1!!! Shocked, I booked. Expecting the ticket to be confirmed within a day. But it got confirmed only after a few days. Again surprised. (The only explanation to this can be that the number of genuine reservations has gone up vs people just clogging the pipe)

Bottom line is, somehow the railways ministry seems to have figured out how to clean up the brokers who tended to clog up the ticket pipe and clean the whole process. Amazing! I've been using this system since 2002 and I have never had a better experience!! EVER!

For folks who keep asking when the good days will come, there you are. It is such subtle and systemic changes that will slowly bring a better quality of life to the aam aadmi, and people who don't get it, well, will never get it I guess.

The black money issue too, people were crying themselves hoarse over it. In a few simple steps, the entire issue is laid to rest. First, notes which are older than a certain date are invalidated. Two, you are given a set amount of time to exchange them in banks for newer - and get this, not notes, but - funds deposited in your bank (white, white, white). So people who've been hoarding truckloads of cash since time immemorial will suddenly find that they either have to declare it all or sit on heaps of useless paper. Much better than begging some Swiss guys to reveal details and keep waiting for someone to have a change of heart! I'm sure something is being done in that direction too, but better act on what you can seems to be the motto.

There is now talk about real estate prices (which have only been skyrocketing) taking a nosedive since black money is going to slowly start evaporating from the market..

Bring it on guys, we are with you!

Missing this

Yesterday we took the kids to the club house in our layout. As usual, there were kids, parents watching, some old ladies chatting etc. While I was entertaining the younger one on the slide, a woman walked along to where the old ladies were sitting and chatting and handed them a dabba. Evebtually I figured out it was Halwa which the woman had made. After all the ladies had a little bit, one of the old ladies said "Bahu ho to aisi, ise khana pakaane ka aur khilaane ka bahut shauk hai" (This is the exemplary daughter-in-law, she loves cooking and feeding people). And then some more. I presume she was her mother in law.

That instantly reminded me of my own mother-in-law. She very often used to give unhindered (and often undeserved) praise in my favour. Whenever anyone visited or when she was with her relations, I know she always found happiness and pride when she spoke of me and/or praised me! I always loved that! Now, no one there to fill that gap :( My mother-in-law was always very explicit in showing how she cherished me. Somehow yesterday I heard that and missed my mother-in-law, just like that. She manifests her presence in so many ways, even after almost four years since she left us..

Conversations

Me and son yesterday - when the house-help dodn't turn up and I was mopping the house

Son : Amma, I want to do.
Me: No, you cannot.
Son: But I like to do it
Me: Anyway when you grow up and you go away for studying and then get married etc, you have to do all these, why do them from now?
Son: But I want to learn from now
Me: It's too early baby
Son: But if I dont learn from now, how will I do it when I grow up.
Me: When you are a little older, I will ask you to do it myself, not now.
....

And so he nagged and I refused and he nagged and I refused and I finally gave in and he mopped his grandmother's study. It was such a proud moment!

A new year to finish 10 years!!!

I finish 10 years with Cisco today. For a change, it doesn't feel like I joined yesterday or anything. It feels in fact that it's been much longer! Often I catch myself thinking, has it been just 10 years? Feels more like 15 or 20!

Considering that I've seen most major life events during this stint, I'm not surprised. In fact, aside from emigrating to the U.S, all life events have been while I was employed here. Got engaged and later married, moved back, seen my mother in law pass away, had not one but two kids, phew! Quite a lot!

And through it all, it's been an employer without fault. I've had real palpitations at the thought of quitting and going someplace else. That's when I figured, it's more than just an employer. It's second home.

I still remember those days. Of financial worries and job insecurity in a land where no job meant no status, visa issues etc. That way, whenever I think of this role, it feels like a saviour. It literally pulled me out of the dark depths of life, in more ways than one. It brings a smile to my face for sure.

Then California. Oh, was it a relief after the four years in Wisconsin. I loved Wisconsin, and Madison. But the winters, oh, those were things nightmares are made of! For a South Indian used to scorching heats, they were repulsive. Period. California was a welcome relief and a generous dose of sunshine, Indian stores and Indian-ness in general :D

I remember how I was staying with V and S, and my join date was delayed by a week, thanks to some goof up from HR in visa process. I can never thank both of them enough for the kindness they showed and for the good times I had with them, especially S :) I remember looking around for apartments, moving into one, stuff arriving from Milwaukee, setting up house and so on and so forth. And the car arriving. Just in time for the Monday morning drive to work. If I had started on time, I would have had to find a way to drive myself to and from work for that one week.

A shout out needs to go to all my colleagues in SJ. It was a fun team and one I have never been able to repeat or experience again. Especially my manager there. I am back as part of his extended team in my current role but its just not the same. He really taught me what mattered and what didn't in his own way. In fact I always maintain, between Subhash at home and him at work, they really made me a better human being!! Even after so many years of moving back, whenever I am in a spot, I just have to drop him a word and he works a 1-1 with me into his schedule. That is the stuff awesome guys are made of!

Nostalgia and memories. Good stuff.

From dream company to second home, it's been a wonderful (just) 10 years! Certainly looking forward to the next 10, and definitely hoping there will be a next 10:)

Three years.

Today, it's been three years since we lost my mother-in-law. We had the day fall on Saturday according to the Indian calendar and did the usual rituals. Some last minute hiccups notwithstanding, it went off passably well.

Slowly, time heals. She becomes more and more of a memory as each day, month and year goes by. The pain and the shock has been numbed down considerably and it is not a reality check so much anymore. I just wish her end didn't have to be so painful for her :(

Yet, we miss her. Last evening we bought the older one a bigger bicycle, a gift from my father-in-law - and couldn't help remembering how my mother-in-law excitedly got him his first one when he was two years old for his birthday. She didn't live much longer after his birthday that year - an event which we can probably never get over, however less painful it gets year after year :(

A snippet from a blog she used to write when she was around, this was after one of those particularly painful hospital episodes. My brother-in-law had flown in from the US after we admitted her in Hyderabad and she was feeling grateful, happy and guilty at the same time. She did really love her sons to bits, my brother-in-law especially, meant everything and more to her, was a very special older son. Though they are very less vocal about it, I know both the brothers miss her quite a lot..

A dozen year romance - the Gym and I

It was a very wary 21 year old that walked in, completely in awe of the various pieces of equipment, free weights, trainers, people working out etc. It was overwhelming to say the least.

N, my then roomie, initiated me into Racquetball. There was a course offering the Spring of 2002 and she insisted I join. I was wondering if I have enough money to splurge on a Racquet and Ball and goggles, but I enrolled, bought everything that was needed and started. Both of us used to show up for classes in the mornings on the scheduled days. It was in SERF and that also housed a temperature controlled full fledged Swimming floor with a shallow and a deep pool, a complete indoor running track and a full fledged gym along with the Racquetball courts. (Check that link, will you?) I was drawn in. Little by little I started exploring the gym. See, I was just back from my Europe trip, and only when I met my cousins did they realize and consequently made me too, that I had bloated up like a balloon pumped with air. That too within a span of 5 months, they had seen me off in Hyderabad/Bangalore before I left for the US. Call it comfort eating or the irresistible Babcock flavours, (I mean, which university has a full department researching ice cream flavours?! That was nuts. But my favourite was half scoop mocha and half scoop peanut butter in a generous waffle cone. Darn, I have to go to Madison, like now!!) I bloated. Without ever realizing it! I had to do something to stop looking like a pumpkin.

That is how it all started. I still remember going religiously to SERF, SHELL and NAT. SHELL was probably my least favorite but that was because it was not really a full-fledged gym. The only reason I went to it in later years is because it was on a bus route and closest to me when I had to travel by bus since I was living a little after State Street. I remember walking in the snow, with just a light jacket and sneakers, to the bus stop, and taking the bus to SHELL because unlike when I was a student, I was now interning and had to get to work by 8.30 AM. So early AM workouts were the only thing that would work for me. Yes, even in freezing February! Since in the evening I used to do German classes and used to swim at SERF on days when I didn't have German classes. Boy! Did I keep myself busy or what.

So anyway, after all those days at those excellent UW-Mad rec facilities (really, what a shame it would have been to not make use of those sexy facilities!), my gyms' standards have continued to drop but those 2-3 years' practices have gone on and on to date where unless it is a weekend or a holiday or I am traveling - I do not miss a single day of gym/workout. I was telling friends the other day, its become an addicition I cannot do without. I feel all antsy the day I miss it. I feel upset and moody and what not.

That 21 year old would never, ever have thought that things would come to this after a few years!

Daddy Dear!

"I learnt to change the diaper today" my Dad announced last week. Feeling very happy, with a glint in his eye. I was overwhelmed.

Ever since they have moved here, my Dad has picked up so much of the baby duty, it is simply mind blowing. We can now leave the younger one with him all day without worrying. He figured out the formula mix, cereal mix, how to feed him, how to change him, how to clean him, and more importantly how to put him to sleep. None of us, in fact, can do it as well as he does. The younger one is an impatient little devil and the last thing he wants to do is sleep. Somehow my Dad manages, and beautifully well!

Not to mention, he manages the grocery shopping all by himself, baby essential shopping, and any other myriad shopping. In fact between him and my father in law, they manage most of the household shopping, so much so, that after many ages, Subhash and I went for groceries last weekend! And forgot 2-3 essential things, which my Dad promptly replenished the next day. Yeah, we have gotten so bad at it!

Can't thank the grannies enough. My mom, dad and father in law, truly the biggest treasures in our lives! Wish my mother in law was around too, healthy and happy, that would have completed the picture most awesomely. Like Rohan says from time to time, she went to God, I am missing her.

Brown Deer, WI

I am sure I wrote very little about this place on this blog. Yes, such a place exists in the US! It is a suburb of the buzzing Milwaukee city. I happened to live here for a year. And it was undoubtedly the most turbulent time of my life!

I was with GE Healthcare then and what can I say - that one year in Brown Deer saw me go to the lowest point in my life back to the highest.

It was one place where I was truly lonely - and alone - in all senses of the words. I had no friends there with whom I could socialize so home-work-home was pretty much the standard routine. Thanks to this routine, my weight was at an all time low when I was in this place - lack of avenues to eat out - I hated eating out alone, then and now!

Work was turbulent too. I had my one and only experience of being handed the pink slip - and the six weeks that followed that - I can never forget. Thanks to this really awesome manager I had there who somehow struggled to find the budget to take me back in as a contracting employee - I was back in 6 weeks. But I was at my last cent and it was a step away from either debt or back to India if I had not got back in then, that very week.

Then the constant threat of another pink slip.

And the drama for a visa. My OPT was fast expiring and we needed an H-1. Neither the client nor the employer had a policy of sponsoring H1. So we had to do a sub-contracting arrangement to get the visa done. That was the worst nightmare in all of my USCIS turmoils. Thankfully it all went through fine.

Then the high - I interviewed and got into Cisco. Where I have been since then - 10 years now almost :) That was the inflection point from rock bottom and a true 180 degree turn. Never looked back since then. I remember when packing to move to California, I was stuffing some boxes into my Honda and by the time I was done, there was a neat 3 inches of snow on all of them. I muttered one final long curse on mid-west and its winters, all the while vengefully happy that I am getting out of Wisconsin,  and left to get some dinner, packed off the car to California the next morning and had lunch with a couple of close friends who came down from Chicago and just couldn't wait to get the cab to the airport and just get out of the place. I hated it so much.

And this one year saw Subhash and me transition from friends to more albeit at long distance :) For that - it will also be very close to my heart :) Enough said. :P

Today somehow I remembered it. What with my cousin moving to the US and Subhash and I discussing our long left behind US life, I remembered this very significant one year of my life and I looked it up in the maps. The apartment where I lived, the place where I worked, the freeways, the roads, the IHOP - I never ever imagined I would miss this place. And yet, today I did. And the significance of it hit me fully. This was a place that dealt me the biggest blow in life and also taught me how to fight it, get out of it and live it up!

And for that, it will always remain a very very special place.

If I go the US again - I definitely have the Chicago-Madison-Milwaukee triangle planned for a weekend. I really need to see those home-turfs once - just to remember the old life! I missed them all today! So much! I never thought this possible 10 years ago :)

Hmm..

Today my cousin left with her husband for California. It was a very mixed occasion. We were very happy for her as she starts a new journey into her marriage and in a new country and at the same time very sad to see her leave. Never thought such a day would come. I left everyone behind oh-so-many-years-ago but somehow being the person who is staying back is much more poignant than being a person who is embarking on a new journey. At least there is something new to look forward to which helps overcome home-sickness. For the people left behind, it is just the same routine with a big void.

Well, I was at least glad that the newly weds spent a good chunk of their time here with us in Bangalore. My aunt also came by with them and so it was a merry family for a week. We were also joined by her in-laws a little later and it was a good chance to get to know them - one knows how much we get to interact in our busy and noisy weddings! :)

Father in law is back tomorrow. Looking forward to that!

Otherwise, just the routine till the Dussehra vacation comes around.