Women

On the eve of Women's Day, I thought let me do a post on my day-to-day life as a woman.

Often I have wondered if I am a feminist or the old-fashioned woman, who likes to take care of her home, husband and kid by herself.

Today my house-help P and I were discussing something when she made a remark "I have never seen ANNa (brother), stand near the stove and cook in the three years I have been working here" - she was of course referring to Subhash. I told her how Subhash makes excellent omlette and a few other items.

It is true. I don't let Subhash do a whole lot of work around the house. With the son coming and work load around the house increasing, he has helped with the son a lot, but normal household chores, even if he helps, I usually make him stop as soon as I spot it, if I can help it.

So, am I a traditional woman who thinks pati is parmeshwar and does not let him do anything? I hardly think so. I had this logic when Subhash moved to the US, we got married and started living together - that the household work had not increased even one bit between when I was living alone and when he joined me - except maybe laundry and one extra plate. Since I managed just fine before he was around I figured I could manage just fine even if he was around. Plus he would travel a lot and I liked pampering him - so he would get the royal treatment. Of course, he has given me anything I have asked for at all times. Unending love. Even the smallest of wishes is taken care of pronto. (I feel particularly proud of the fact that I have never gone to the doc alone during pregnancy. Ever. He has always come along.) So it is all a matter of give and take. Plus, since we have moved to India and have been living in our own house, his share of work around the house has grown significantly. Whenever there are handy men around the house (carpenter, plumber, electrician etc) for whatever work, it is primarily him and my father in law who stand around and get things done. I hate doing those jobs. Plus he willingly helps with the kid - no questions asked.

Today in the evening, I was thinking of all this and reflecting on my evening itself. I picked up the son from the daycare, came home, chatted with P, finished bathing the son and dressing him up (the usual evening routine), gave him his milk, ate something myself, rushed with son and father in law to the bank, bought the son some chocolates after, came home, cooked dinner, while dinner was getting ready, sorted the laundry and did my daily weights routine plus finished talking to mom(that is four things simultaneously, all time-division-multiplexed - excuse my network background), fed dinner to the son, put him to sleep (while working on the hand held), had dinner with father in law, chatted with him a while and sat doing some work waiting for Subhash. So, normally days are like this - always packed. Sometimes I confess, I do feel proud of myself :) Only concession being that very rarely do I get time to reflect on it - when I do, I feel good.

And I work. A full-time job. More than full-time.

I am thankful, I have help around the house for daily, routine chores like dishes, and cleaning though. P plays a big part in it. I cannot leave mentioning her out.

So when my son says I like only Amma's food, or when I see a silent gratitude in Subhash's eyes for everything I do for him, or when I see my usually reticent father-in-law appreciating me in many words, or when I see how proud my mom and dad are of how I manage, or when I score an A+ at work - I feel it is totally worth it. It gives me a kick and a high like nothing else does.

So end of the day, I do it for the high it brings me - for the satisfaction I get out of keeping my days full and purposeful.

I am a woman - of the new age.

Yet, it does not matter.