A load of crap!

A conversation overheard @ Pizza Hut on Inner Ring Road, Koramangala yesterday while we were having pizzas (I love desi Pizzas!)

Three guys come in. My reactions in (parentheses)

Guy 1 (Lets call him SN1): Water, no ice. (Uh-oh, potential blogging material, what with all that accent)
Both chelas (presumably younger aspiring engineers) : Listening and listening..
SN1: In the US, if you say "Water without ice" they don't understand, you have to say "Water, no ice" (Yeah right you moron but this is not the US)
Chelas: Listening
SN1: (After a lot more "Ohh in the US its like this" conversation): In the US, you don't eat Pizza without Coke, you should order Coke. (Well you idiot, they make perfectly marvelous Masala Lemonade here, but dumbs like you do NOT deserve to have that.
Chelas: Hmm..listening
SN1: In the US, you only get bland food, I want to have something spicy.
Chelas: Still listening
Waiter: May I take your order sir.
SN1: I want to order X-Y-Z. See, I always have bland pizzas in the US, I want to order something spicy, can I get X-Y-Z?

Goddammit man! Get a life.

If you boast with the poor chelas I can understand. How can you be so desperately seeking attention from everyone including the waiters?! I don't even want to tell you what a laughing stock you become.