Today, it has been 20 years since I first moved out of my parents' home. From a "safe" environment into a totally unknown country and life.
I really do miss Madison some days - I never imagined I would get nostalgic about a place that I have not many fond memories of. Those days were always filled with stress over finances, managing my entire life in my hands, uncertainty about the future, shaky employment situations thanks to 09/11 and what not. Not much time to focus on education which was purportedly the main reason I was there.
Yet, Madison was a serene, calm and a charming town - sometimes I look up the place on Google maps just to see those familiar streets, old homes, university buildings, terraces, Union buildings etc. Such a laid back place and if not for the winters, I would have loved to live there longer - Madison in particular and Wisconsin in general. I just HATED the winters though. I couldn't wait to move to sunny California, when I did in 2005.
It is always a sentimental day for me. Although I moved back home in 2008 and spent far less time in the US than in India of the 41 years of my life, and it no longer relevant to any milestones or counts, it is still a strong demarcating line between a cocooned, secure life to a totally independent, self-reliant one. It taught me a great deal and I do think I managed reasonably well. I realized strong life lessons in those 18 months of pursuing my Masters which I would probably never have, had I not left everything behind. The strongest one which I still swear by "You cannot put any price to peace of mind". If something provides peace of mind and is within affordable range, it makes zero sense to not spend money on it. Money is nothing if it cannot afford you certain basic and attainable privileges. Even as a student struggling to make ends meet, I made sure to spend my money where my peace of mind was.
I have many bad and in the later part, even more good memories from my life in the US. I tell everyone proudly, how, where most women migrate to where their husbands live/work, Subhash migrated to where I was because I was not mentally prepared to give up my fight to reach financial stability and eventually move back. Even on days when I would feel like giving up and moving back and getting married comfortably and settling down here, he would say, it would always be a regret that I should never have to hold in the first place. And he wouldn't let me pick that option unless I was desperate and there was no other way. For this, I am always thankful.
Finally, I wrapped up that chapter, married, financially well-off (at least compared to when I started), with no job search needed afresh and happy to move home after 7 years. With ZERO regrets about whatever life had thrown my way. All in all a journey well worth it and well lived :)
A day where I also thank the many people who made it possible for me. My family, of course, but that neighbor who sponsored funds to show in our accounts so I could get a visa and my cousin who willingly parted with 10K USD (in 2001, it was a *LOT* of money) to pay towards my tuition. Wisconsin was an expensive school. I did manage to rotate the same 10K for two semesters; getting a tuition refund at the end of each before I was finally on the UW Engineering rolls as a TA in the third semester. I finally returned it to him in 2006 - he refused to accept it before I had a stable job :) It saved me a lot of additional stress about money and finances..
13.5 years and counting - not having gone back to the US after I left it. The goal is to travel to as many other places in the world as I can before I have to go back there for personal or professional reasons. And definitely to make the first stop at Madison - where it all started. Someday, maybe in the distant future :) Thanks to this pandemic, a change in jobs didn't entail an otherwise mandatory trip to the mother-ship :)
